Lucius & Narcissa: A story of love and bloodpride
by Nuna Hatem
Summary: "With a start, I saw shining blond hair. The Malfoy prince and the Black princess. A match made in pureblood heaven. With a smile, I walked downstairs to my fate." Is it really the muggle-borns who have the harder life? Join Lucius and Narcissa and watch how hard the life of a pure-blood truly is. ON HIATUS
1. Old memories

**_Chapter 1:- Narcissa's point of view_**

* * *

Narcissa kept her poise and managed to look cool and collected even though she wanted to strangle Agrippa Nott so she would stop her incessant gossip.

'And did you know that she actually **married** the muggle!' Agrippa whispered in a scandalous tone. As if stupid Emlyn Burke who refused the marriage her parents had arranged for her and instead chose to marry a common mudblood had deeply offended Agrippa.

'Not like me' Narcissa thought smugly. The _very _influential and handsome Lucius Malfoy had been courting her for the past month and Narcissa was expecting a proposal any day now.

The engagement would hopefully make up for the shame her family had endured when Andromeda had run off with the mudblood. Stupid Droma.

'But Cissy dear, didn't you're sister run off with a mudblood as well?' Agrippa said her eyes bright with interest, thinking she had finally broken through Narcissa Blacks cold façade.

Narcissa leveled Agrippa with a cool glance which made the foolish woman gulp nervously.

'I do not understand what you're suggesting as I only have one sister and you very well know that she is a married woman.' Narcissa said scathingly.

The other woman fumbled over her words so much it was almost humorous.

"Or are you accusing my sister of both associating with mudbloods and infidelity?"

'Cissy darling, you know I didn't mean it like that!'

'I do?' Narcissa said whilst raising an eyebrow mockingly.

'Yes of course! I just meant your **other **sister.'

'You must have faulty ears. Why can you not register that I clearly stated I have only **one **sister?'

'Now Cissy don't be angry but I must be off now! Good bye.'

Agrippa finally rushed off and left Narcissa to thank the hostess and apparate home. If it was anyone but Narcissa, she probably wouldn't be able to get away with treating Agrippa this way. But Agrippa had always been intimidated by her and her surname. The Black name was _very_ powerful.

'Narcissa! Where _have _been? You must get ready at once dearest, Lucius is taking you out to lunch.' Her mother said, looking quite flustered.

She had recently become the apple of her parents eyes ever since she managed to capture the eye of Lucius Malfoy. The Malfoys were good and influential purebloods so it would the perfect way to bond the two families.

Narcissa sighed and started to go through her multiple dress robes. She picked out a lovely ice blue to match her piercing eyes. She started to think about the day she purchased those robes

_**Flashback**_

_"Cissy! We've been here all day and you still haven't picked out which ones you like best!"_

_"Droma dear, please don't screech like that. It makes you sound like a common fish-wife."_

_"Cissy stop acting all high and mighty and hurry up."_

_Narcissa kept her cold expression on for a second longer before bursting into laughter. It felt so nice to laugh and she couldn't let her guard down long enough to laugh much. unless it was with Andromeda. Droma was frozen for a second before bursting into peals of giggles._

_ "Ugh Cissy I'm trying to be stern here! Look, I'll even help you pick out some nice robes."_

_Cissy inwardly smiled before primly saying "Alright then, lets get a move on."_

_Droma picked up some beautiful dress robes. They were a perfect ice blue that matched Cissys' eyes. They were tight from the top before gently loosening up and swirling around the bottom with perfect imitations of icicles near the bottom._

_"Perfect!"_

_Andromeda smiled and gently said "I thought so too"_

It really shouldn't have surprised Narcissa or Bella when Droma ran away with the muggle. It wasn't surprising but it still hurt. Then again how was one supposed to expect the very worst of their own sister? Their own flesh and blood? _**'Stop. She isn't your flesh or blood any longer and it is entirely her fault.' **_Even in her thoughts Narcissa was controlling.

But Bella hadn't reacted as she had. No, Bella made sure that every trace of Droma was gone while Narcissa was holed up in her room feeling upset, betrayed and above all, disgusted. Lucius had said she had to snap out of her habit of calling her 'Droma.' He said that she was lucky she wasn't punished for speaking of her so often but referring to her so fondly would cause trouble but she just couldn't refer to her sister so…formally.

"Narcissa, what are you doing! Lucius will be here in five minutes!" Her mother screeched. It was enough to snap her out of her daydream and push unnecessary memories to the back of her mind. She focused on the present " Lucius. Here. Five minutes. Oh Merlin!"

* * *

-A/N: Hi guys :) I hope you like my story so far! I just wanted to note that Agrippa means sick or painful in Latin and Emlyn means rival. Maybe the next chapter will be from Lucius's point of view?

Thanks for reading


	2. My Lovely Cissa

He paced impatiently. 'Ugh' He thought. Lucius noted everything with complete disdain. Why couldn't Narcissa just **hurry up? **He suddenly heard the grand door open slowly and Narcissa stepped out. If she could hear his thoughts, she would have been angry at him.

He carefully looked over Narcissa, making sure she hadn't been damaged in the short time he hadn't seen her. '_Lucius dear, women aren't inanimate objects but instead something to be cherished.'_ He could hear his asinine and daft mother speaking.

It wasn't only the Blacks who had blood-traitors. But unlike the Malfoys they didn't know how to deal with the shame and couldn't cover up their embarrassing tracks. It really was too bad about the second Black girl.

'Narcissa how lovely to see you.' Lucius said charmingly, for it really _was _lovely to her. Narcissa, so far had been the only constant in his life and he was grateful to her for it.

'I would hope it's lovely to see me.' Narcissa said smirking. Her facial features gentled into a soft smile and said 'It's lovely to see you as well Lucius and I hope you know I was only teasing you.'

Lucius let out a chuckle for now was _really_ the only time he could be this way with her. 'I'm aware that you were only teasing Cissa but come now. I have a surprise for you.'

Her eyes sparkled, both from the delight at him calling her Cissa and at the anxiousness of her surprise. He knew that he was the only one who called her that as her family insisted that they call her _'Cissy.'_

They both suddenly arranged their faces into their usual mask of indifference and disdain. He was still impressed at how impassive she could be and how her mask was **never **broken. Unless of course she was alone with him. Against his will, he started to think about how he had first met her.

_**Flashback**_

_Lucius strutted around the train, head held up high. He smirked when he heard the cat-calls of girls both younger __**and **__older than him. He suddenly stumbled into someone about half his height. He growled, angry that someone had dared bump into him. He looked into un-apologetic eyes and felt himself soften before becoming angry once more. The girl had long blond, almost white hair with un-forgiving ice-blue eyes. She acted as if she was Lucius's superior! _

_'I would politely ask you to watch you're step. Should you have been inept enough to damage me, you would have been very sorry.' The girl spoke in a confident albeit polite drawl but the look in her eyes made him angry._

_'And who might you be?' Lucius spoke softly but with an undertone of menace. He would have loved to hex this stupid girl but he didn't know who she was and she her family might be powerful. She spoke as confident as a Slytherin__._

_'She's __**MY **__sister Malfoy and stay away from her!' Oh Merlin. Lucius heard the infamous voice of Bellatrix Black and she sounded ready to explode. Now that he had 'bothered' her sister she would be on his back all term long. Bellatrix really __**was **__un-lady like. Screeching was an unfortunate habit that some women picked up but really! He had hoped that the ladies of the house of Black would be able to control them-selves. Oh well. _

_He had just opened his mouth to retaliate when he hear her soft voice again 'Bella dear, remember what mother said? If some people walk with all the grace of an elephant it is hardly our fault.'_

_She had looked at him with a gleam in her eyes and even though she had insulted him, he couldn't help but feel intrigued._

Lucius's upbringing didn't differ much from pure-blood heirs. Wake up, learn foreign languages that he had absolutely **no** use for, father checks in, reprimands him for 'not living up to Malfoy standards' and it all repeated over and over again. Until he got that much awaited letter from Hogwarts. Hogwarts was his ticket out. There people followed him, respected him, _looked up to him_.

Now, most muggle-borns (he proffered the term mudblood) complained _over and over_ about how hard it was to get people to look past their up-bringing and see the wizard or witch behind it. _Oh please._ It was enough that pure-bloods dealt with them, now they had to listen to their whining _as well?_ And honestly, the life of a pure-blood was much harder but very rewarding. So many high expectations!

"Lucius?"

Suddenly Narcissas voice cut into his mudblood rant. He often got quite carried away with those. He looked at Narcissas in-different face and knew that she had become impassive. As he thought about it, he knew his face was as cold as a slate of rock. Grasping her arm gently but firmly, he apparated away.

* * *

-A/N: Hi I hope you liked reading Lucius's point of view. Please review and tell me which point of view you liked better because I'm not sure. Btw am I being too old-fashioned with how they talked? Thanks! :)


	3. Cruel rumors

_**Narcissa**_

Narcissa opened her eyes and found herself staring at The museum of Witchcraft and Wizardry in Hogsmede.

Lucius leaned toward her ear while maintaining his cold expression and whispered 'Do you like your surprise?'

Narcissa didn't smile or do anything to show how excited she was. She loved wizard history and she was happy that Lucius seemed to remember 'Yes Lucius, thank you.' She said with a straight face.

He too didn't change his expression 'You're welcome Narcissa.'

Later on they started reading about the interesting history of Gellert Grindelwald.

_"Educated at Durmstrang, a school famous even then for its unfortunate tolerance of the Dark Arts, Grindelwald showed himself quite as precociously brilliant as Dumbledore. Rather than channel his abilities into the attainment of awards and prizes, however, Gellert Grindelwald devoted himself to other pursuits. At sixteen years old, even Durmstrang felt it could no longer turn a blind eye to the twisted experiments of Gellert Grindelwald, and he was expelled."_

_Grindelwald's famous slogan was 'For the greater Good.'_

'Lucius especially seemed very interested in Grindelwald's history.' Narcissa noted thoughtfully in her head.

Lucius grasped Narcissas elbow and they stumbled upon the history of The Mirror of Erised. Narcissa sighed. She always thought it to be some of the most fascinating history in the wizarding world.

'Narcissa would you tell me about the Mirror of Erised? I'd much rather hear it from you than from a piece of parchment.' Lucius said. Narcissa agreed and then started telling him about it.

'**The Mirror of Erised** is a mirror, which shows the "deepest and most desperate desire of one's heart." The happiest person in the world would look in the mirror and see a reflection of exactly the way he or she is.'

Lucius cut her off saying 'I already know what I would see in this mirror.' whilst looking at her meaningfully

Narcissa blushed, only the slightest flushing on the apples of her cheeks before continuing 'Inscribed across the top of the frame is the following text: _Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi_. Reversing the inscription and rearranging the spaces produces: _I show not your face but your heart's desire_.'

Lucius stared at her in awe 'When did you have the time to learn all this? You weren't even looking at the parchment!'

Narcissa thought back to all those lonely times when Droma left. She remembered herself curled up under her blanket reading because there was no-one to talk to. Bella was in a rampage, and really didn't want to talk to Narcissa and she wasn't especially close to mother or father anyways.

Narcissa opened her mouth and un-consciously replied 'Oh just in my spare time.' She didn't want to admit to Lucius that there had been a time when she had been weak and vulnerable.

'I didn't know you had so much spare time.' Lucius murmered.

Lucius and Narcissa were leaving the museum when everyone turned to stare at Narcissa. She could here their quick mutters.

_'Sister of a blood-traitor… Didn't know the Black house would resort to __**this**__…Cyngus should've gotten rid of her on the spot…I can't even imagine touching a mud-blood let alone __**marrying **__one… Soft... Disgusting.. Filth… Worthless…'_

Narcissa held her head up high , because that's what she was best at but she couldn't believe how bad the gossip was. The Black name was besmirched. She never thought she would live to see this day.

Lucius looked at her with pity. He understood. It felt like it was only Lucius that she could turn to. Mother and father believed that she didn't _have _a sister named Andromeda and turned a blind eye to all the gossip. Bellatrix was a married woman, too busy to listen to Narcissas ramblings.

But Lucius was there. _He_ would listen. _He_ wouldn't try and tell her 'everything will be okay.' Because it wouldn't be okay. And he knew that. But there was nothing they could do.

'Do **not** show weakness.' Lucius hissed in her ear. So she didn't. She turned her nose up, showing off her long neck and walked haughtily because she knew she was better than them.

She remembered when she caught Andromeda trying to leave.

_**Flashback**_

_Narcissa woke up, thirsty for water. As she sat up in her bed she heard a bang as if someone dropped something and a curse. She got up and grabbed her wand (even though she couldn't use it, she was under-age) and stalked out into the hallway, resembling a cat. _

_She saw someone with long brown hair. For a second she thought it was Bellatrix but when the face turned she knew it wasn't. There were slight differences that if someone who didn't know them too well, could have mistaken them. Droma had a slightly longer nose and wider, kinder eyes, a shade lighter than Bella's._

_But wait, why was Droma sneaking around in the middle of the night, wearing muggle clothes? Where had she gotten muggle clothes anyways? What was she doing? Was she in trouble? And __**why **__did she have her traveling trunk? Too many questions ran through her head, they made her slightly dizzy._

_'Droma?' Cissy whispered, her eyes still closed before opening them slowly, as if she was doubting that it was __**really**__ her. _

_'Cissy please just stay quiet.' Droma said while looking around wildly. She really __**had**__ gone mad._

_'Why should I? And what are you doing? Where are you going?' Narcissa demanded her voice growing louder with each question. 'Droma please don't tell me that you're running away with that filthy muggle! Mother told you to leave him!' _

_'Cissy please just stay quiet. I've left you all a letter that explains everything.'_

_'Oh Merlin, you __**are **__running away with a muggle. That's disgusting! How could you do that to us!'_

_'Well, I didn't ask for your opinion or your approval, so what you say is irrelevant.' Andromeda said coldly before walking off quickly, ignoring her sisters cries. From that day, Narcissa had never heard from her sister again._

Droma had been smart about one thing though. So far no-one had really seen her so there weren't any more horrible rumors. Plus Narcissa had no idea what their father would do if he saw Droma again. Merlin, if he saw her again _and_ she was with The mudblood he just might kill them both! She knew that Dromas' betrayal had hit their father the hardest.

Father was very fond of his daughters. Narcissa was his cold ice-princess_. _Bellatrix was his fierce girl-warrior. But Droma was his best friend. The one he's spend hours in his office talking to. His smart one.

Droma and Bella were quite like their father. When hurt, they got angry and reacted without thinking . But Narcissa was like their mother. Cold and smart. She would patiently wait for revenge but when she striked, she always hit home.

* * *

-A/N: Hi, I hope you liked my third chapter… Please review any ideas that you have, any constructive criticism or just complements! Hahaha thanks and please read & review! Btw I got the paragraphs about the Mirror of Erised and about Grindelwald from Harry Potter Wiki.


	4. An Unexpected Letter

-A/N: Hey I just wanted to say that this chapter is going to be in Narcissa's POV… I'm not sure if I should make a Lucius point of view so I'm leaving it up to you guys. If anyone wants a specific point of view (it doesn't matter who) then please review or message me. I'm trying harder to write longer chapters because my previous ones were pretty short. Thanks and I hope you enjoy this chapter! Btw sorry if this authors note was too long ;)

* * *

'Well goodbye Narcissa. Thank you for an enjoyable evening.' Lucius drawled confidently.

'It was a pleasure Lucius. Can I expect to see you again later this week?'

Lucius's eyes softened slightly before hardening once more 'You can.' He confirmed.

Narcissa simply nodded before stepping into Ravensden Hall and softly closing the door. There wasn't much affection in their relationship. No heart-felt good-bye.

'Narcissa.' Cygnus Black called for her.

'Yes father?' Narcissa replied looking up at him through her eyelashes, looking every bit the innocent angel.

'I'm expecting a proposal very soon. It is your duty to our family to ensure of that.' Cygnus's brown almost black eyes gazed at her, trying to convey how serious this was to her through his eyes.

'Of course father.' Narcissa said, ever the obedient daughter.

Cygnus looked at her and nodded 'That is all.'

Narcissa stepped into her room sighing in relief. The sign on her room read _Toujours pur_ meaning ever pure in French. And the Blacks _were _ever pure. Those who were not respectful of the Black motto weren't recognized as a Black.

Narcissa sat down on her bed not forgetting her posture of course. She was in character even in the privacy of her own room. She mentally ran over all the failures in the Black family, ending with Andromeda.

Isla Black, who married muggle Bob Hitchens.

Phineas Black ,who supported muggle rights.

Marius Black, a squib.

Cedrella Black, who married Septimus Weasley .

Alphard Black, who gave his gold to runaway nephew.

Sirius Black, who ran away.

Andromeda Black, who married muggle Ted Tonks.

Seven in total. These were the seven blood-traitors of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black . She never knew that her own _sister_ would be on that lengthy list. Of course those names were burned off the family tapestry.

The Black family had unusually short life-spans for wizards. Narcissa didn't exactly know the reason why.

The Black family had distant relations to the Potter family. Dear cousin Sirius would probably be delighted. He was very close to the Potters son. Dorea Black Potter married Charlus Potter. The Potters were _very_ pure but they were a family of Gryffindor's and supported muggle rights. Too bad.

Narcissa thoughts turned to her mother. She had always told her as a child that having one flawless daughter was enough. That flawless child was, of course Narcissa. Her sisters were _too _reckless,_ too_ opiniated,_ too _loud.

Mother had dark black hair that hung down to her shoulders though over the years it had gotten a touch of grey but it wasn't overly obvious. Her eyes were a pale brown colour that stood out upon her pale white skin as well as being quite thin. It had always been expected that Druella would be a natural beauty given the family legacy and it was proven to be correct, though she had her mother's dark hair and not the blonde hair that often appeared in the Rosier line.

Narcissa inherited her pale aristocratic good looks from her mothers side of the family or so she was told.

Mother wasn't the most affectionate person but she was a social butterfly. She married father who was in the same year as her when she left Hogwarts. She hadn't married for love but her parents relationship had grown into fondness.

While Lucius and her were already fond of each other she hoped that their relationship would grow into something more.

Suddenly, she heard the rules that were drilled into her head as a child.

_Blacks are not weak. Do not show emotions. Be reserved; it is very attractive in a women. Never rush for anyone, you are a Black show decorum. Do **not **be opiniated. Simply agree with **everything **unless you are talking to someone below your status**.** And most importantly never, **never** besmirch the name of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black_

But the Black name _was_ besmirched! Andromeda had accomplished that perfectly. All those centuries of perfect purebloods had gone to waste for the Blacks were now a laughingstock. Father had to do something, and do it fast.

For every second that passed without fixing this problem, everything simply grew worse. The rumors were worse, the gossip was worse, the embarrassment was worse, the chances for a possible _engagement _was worse…

Lucius Malfoy was a conceited, pompous _extremely_ rich member in society. His family held great influence over the Ministry.

Although not much is known about Lucius's parents, it is known that they were both pure-blood of course. His fathers name was Abraxas Malfoy his mother had mysteriously died a few years ago.

Lucius had a pale, pointed face, with pale blond hair and cold grey eyes. He often carried a walking stick with a snake head. Lucius and Bella often butted heads.

Narcissa began to compare all her sisters and herself.

Bella was tall with long, thick shiny dark hair, full lips, heavily-lidded eyes with long eyelashes, and a strong jaw. She had the classic great good looks and strong bearing common for members of the House of Black. She was very beautiful to those who liked dark good looks.

Droma was similar to Bella in height but she slightly more petite. She had long light brown hair, wide kind cinnamon colored eyes and over-all all her feature were soft and feminine. She was a lighter version of Bella.

Now Narcissa looked as if she wasn't even their sister. The only way they could be know as sisters was their striking Black glare and wit. While Bella and Droma were almost twins with dark hair and dark eyes Narcissa was completely different.

She had waist length blonde almost silver hair. She too was very petite and she had a long neck. Her eyes were wide, the lightest blue you could imagine and trusting. Her cheek-bones were high and her lips were full. Her face and posture screamed high-breeding and aristocracy. In truth she was more a Malfoy than a Black!

Though Narcissas hair colouring thus differs from most of the House of Black, who generally have dark hair, Narcissa does possess the arrogant good looks characteristic of her family.

Droma had tried desperately to contact her sisters but the letters were always intercepted by their parents and thrown into the fire.

Although Bella vehemently stated to anyone who taunted them about Droma (before she cursed them of course) that Narcissa and her had not and will not set eyes on her. While Narcissa agreed that she would not set eyes on Andromeda, she didn't say that she wouldn't _contact_ her.

Narcissa still wasn't sure if she completely forgave Droma for what she did and though it completely went against everything she was raised to believe, Narcissa was willing to communicate with her. The course of true love never did run smooth.

Narcissa still didn't know why Droma hadn't just quietly accepted the proposal that mother and father had arranged for her. Evan Rosier was a lovely man and it would've been a good alliance. She didn't have to run away, leaving a fiancé and a family!

But if she was so opposed to Rosier why didn't she just form her own relations? She refused to date any good pure-bloods and thus forced mother and father to try and _help her out._

_You're just tiring yourself out, _Narcissa thought. The workings of Dromas mind were extremely odd and confusing but she still loved her.

_Love? Was their even such a thing?  
_  
Immediately after she had that thought, Narcissa began thinking of her sisters'. Truthfully her sisters were the people she loved. She was very fond of and fiercely loyal to her parents and all the members of The House of Black but there wasn't any love. In the future there might be, but she doubted it.

Bella was her protector. Droma was her guider. Bella was there to hex anyone within and inch of their life should they bother Cissy. Droma was their to talk about it. Bella was cruel and confident. Droma while confident was _nice_. Bella was the Slytherin princess. Droma was the Slytherin laughingstock.

The only way she made it out alive of Slytherin was when Bella constantly corrected her mistakes. People respected Bella enough to respect her sisters.

_So who did she love more? Bella or Droma?_

**Neither. **Narcissa thought firmly. Bella was loud and confident and fun. Droma was the same but she was caring. All in all they were both the best big sisters. _Too bad that according to the family tapestry Droma wasn't a sister anymore._

Narcissa began thinking about the time where her and her sisters were having a sleepover. Cissy had been twelve while Bella and Droma were fourteen and fifteen.

**_Flashback_**

_'Come on Cissy! Just tell us!' Bella crooned with Droma laughing at her side. 'Tell us who you were talking about in your journal.'_

_Cissy had a journal where she wrote all her secret thoughts in. She had been writing about **someone** when Bella and Droma had barged in, demanding a sleepover._

_Cissy blushed delicately, then lifted her hand up to touch her cheek as if she was surprised at the heat. _

_'Why… why do you want to know?' She murmured, her eyes wide._

_'Cissy dear… We don't want to know, we **have** to know! You're our baby Cissy!' Bella and Droma sang the last part together, forming a perfect melody._

_Cissy looked into her sisters expectant faces, their eyes bright with interest._

_'Or we can talk about me and my stories**…**' Bella said suggestively while winking at Droma._

_'Cissy cover your ears. Now.' Droma stated with authority. Some of Bella's 'stories' were a bit inappropriate for Cissy's innocent, twelve year old ears._

_'Oh **come on** Droma!' Bella whined._

'Absolutely not.' Droma said 'Now why don't we get back to Cissy's mystery person?'

''No, no ,no, no **no!' **Cissy said childishly

Bella and Droma began to chant 'Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!'

And it went on. Each time they disagreed their tone grew louder and louder until**…**

'GIRLS!' Cygnus Black shouted.

Cissy, Bella and Droma erupted into giggles before shouting back innocently in unison 'Sorry father.' 

_Bella and Droma never found out who the mystery guy was. But in the end their relationship grew stronger through their 'sleepover'._

Narcissa sighed. Then she had been Cissy. Sweet, childish, innocent Cissy. She missed those days, where her sisters and herself were the best of friends. __

Andromeda, why did you break us up?

Now, without Droma it wasn't the same. She wished that Droma would just come back.

Suddenly a tapping on her window made her look up. An owl was there continuously tapping to be let in. Narcissa stood up ,opened her window, took the letter and the owl flew off.

She delicately opened the envelope to a curiously blank parchment.  
_  
_Narcissa pointed her wand at the mysteriously blank piece of parchment and said with authority 'Homenum Revelio!' Immediately words began flowing onto the piece of parchment like a water-fall. That continued on until the parchment was completely full. The envelope didn't mention anything about who sent it though**…**

Narcissa's eyes began roving over the letter curiously.

_Dearest Cissy._

I've decided to contact you instead of Bella because Bella can be… a bit difficult. Have you made a lovely pure-blood marriage yet? I've been trying to contact you for the past few weeks but I'm fairly sure you weren't allowed to reply.

I'm tired of being what you want me to be. Accept me as I am or don't accept me at all. I love you and Bella but I wont give up love for you.

You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. And I will not hold back Cissy. _I know it's not my place but I read this quote the other day and thought I should introduce you to it;_

_It is better to lose your pride to someone you love, than to lose your loved one to your useless pride. _

_Black pride isn't everything Cissy._

_I'm not your perfect pureblood, Slytherin sister. Disown me. Call me a blood traitor. Blast me off the family tapestry but at least I can live a happy life with the oneI love. But I hope that in that life I at least get one beloved sister since I can't get both._

_**Jamais **pur.  
_

_Love from Your estranged sister,  
Droma_

Jamais pur. Fairly witty considering the Black motto was _Toujours pur. _Narcissa stared at the letter long and hard. In her mind there was one only one option. She was going to go and save her sister from the clutches of that evil muggle that was poisoning her mind.

_What would happen if she didn't want to come?_

Narcissa banished that thought immediately. Droma had to come back. She just had to.  
_  
_

* * *

-A/N: Just wanted to say that all the info on the Black family and Druella was correct. Jamais pur means Never pure in French. The Black motto is Ever pure so I thought Never pure would be clever. Thanks for reading!


	5. Rescue Mission

-A/N: Hey I hope you like this chapter! This is Narcissa's point of view. Enjoy!

* * *

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

Narcissa sat, listening intently. She heard the heavy, wood door slam shut and counted to three before standing up.

Mother and father were at the Rosier's for afternoon tea. It was now or never. Narcissa walked over to her huge walk-in closet. She walked past the multi-colored, fancy dress robes and picked up a worn black pair. She didn't want to wear anything too conspicuous.

She put on the robes and let her hair fall into her eyes. Nobody would get the chance to look into her face to confirm who she really was. There. Now she was ready to go and rescue her beloved sister. She was sure if Droma apologized and married Evan _as she should_, father would accept her back into his house-hold. She was His Droma. His favorite.

Contrary to the usual, Narcissa didn't want anyone looking at her today. Should her parents find out what she was doing, they would disown her before she could explain what she was attempting .

Narcissa stepped out side of Ravensden Hall and apparated from there to a muggle pub. She had no idea where this 'Tonks' lived but she was willing to look him up in a muggle phone-book.

Filthy muggles leered at her and winked but thankfully didn't approach her. She didn't want to have to do something that would get her in trouble with the Ministry. Not that father couldn't pay them off but what more shame could the family endure?

Narcissa found a phone-book and looked for the name 'Tonks'

'Tonks, Tonks…' Narcissa muttered.

Oh. There he was. 47 Thorn Road in muggle England. 'Oh Droma what have you done to yourself?' Narcissa murmured sympathetically.

It was obvious that Droma wasn't living the fantasy life. Before she lived like a princess, with house-elves at her beck and call. Now she had resorted to living in a _muggle area?_

_Don't worry Droma. I'll be there soon to knock some sense into you. I'm on my way._

The thought comforted Narcissa instantly and she closed her eyes and focused on the place. She apparated away.

Narcissa felt like a super-hero. She was going to save the day. She looked at her surroundings. It was awfully quiet.

Droma lived in the countryside. She tried to remember the address. 47 Thorn Road . She saw a quaint house with a large 47 hanging near the front porch. So _this_ is where she lived. It was kind of cute. Kind of like a cottage.

It was everything that Narcissas' family home was not. From the looks of it, the house small, modest and cozy. The Black family home was extravagant and tried to show off their wealth. Their was nothing warm in the cold walls. There were no pictures or any indication as to who lived in the house.

_A house is made of bricks and stone; a home is made of love alone._

The home in front of her was just that; a home. Everything about it welcomed Narcissa in.

Narcissa then remembered who she was and what she was there to do. She straightened up her back, pushing her head up in the air showing off her long, aristocratic pale neck and positively _strutted_ down to the knocked on the door three times hesitantly, showing none of her previous confidence. She heard a familiar, melancholy voice call out 'Just a moment please.'

The door opened to reveal a radiant, beaming woman. The woman had a certain _glow_about her. The woman was beautiful. Long locks of milk-chocolate flowed down the woman's back like a waterfall. She was pale but her skin was healthy and bright. She had a button nose and full, pink lips. Narcissa moved her gaze up to the woman's kind, hazel eyes and she realized that she knew that lively woman. That woman was none other than Andromeda Cygnus Black. Her sister.

"Cissy?' Droma whispered un-believingly. Cissy closed her eyes at the sudden wave of déjà vu. She'd heard that voice before _so many times_.

Droma grabbed her roughly and pulled her into a hug.

Cissy slowly wrapped her arms around her sister. Droma babbled on, unaware that Cissy's thoughts were swirling around her head so much that she couldn't even think, let alone answer her.

'And you must tell me! How did you sneak away? I knew mother _always _caught me!' Droma turned her eyes to Cissy's face, waiting for what she obviously thought was a _pure genius escape._

'

Gosh Cissy, I'm sorry. I haven't even invited you in! Bella isn't with you, is she?' Droma looked behind Cissy expectantly as if Bella was hiding and waiting to pop out and shout '**Surprise**!.

Cissy numbly shook her head, still in shock at how_ happy_her elder sister looked. In her whole life, she'd never seen Droma looking this radiant and vivacious.

'Oh… well having you is more than I could have ever dreamed of!' Droma said, her eyes shining happily. She quickly got over the fact that Bella wasn't with Cissy, it was if she expected her to be a no-show.

Droma ushered her into her home. Cissy's eyes widened and her mouth watered. There was a delicious, sweet smell in the air. But she didn't recognize the smell.

'Oh' Droma said giving a short laugh. 'This must be the first time you smell freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.'

Cissy ran over the words curiously in her mind before concluding that it must be a foreign wizard treat. Droma always had loved to read.

'Droma…' Cissy murmured softly 'I'm here to save you.'

'What do you mean save me?' Droma's face was slightly confused.

'I'm here to bring you back to us and to your fiancé .' Cissy said, looking at Droma like she was stupid. Wasn't it obvious what she was here for?

'Are you serious? I don't have a fiancé! I thought you were here so we could laugh and talk about old memories and _bond._ I didn't think you were here to try and make me a prisoner in that horrid house! I've been oppressed for _so_long, Cissy and I'm finally free.'

'Free? You think that being _here_ means your free? We can do all those happy stuff in _our _home!'

'I love you Cissy, but no. Ted means the world to me. And so does my baby.' Droma placed a hand lightly on her stomach looking at her stomach with an adoring look.

What was she talking about? She wasn't... Oh Merlin she was. Andromeda Black was pregnant with a muggle's offspring. What a disgrace.

Droma continued not knowing that she was adding insult to injury. Narcissa was injured that her precious, pure-blood sister was carrying a half-blood in her womb. And she was insulted by the words that came out of her mouth;

'Anyways I couldn't possibly go back to living as I did. Ravensden Hall was so dark and gloomy! Living here, with Ted has been so happy. I've risen above the darkness Cissy. Maybe you should too.'

Cissy _did_ notice something… different about Droma. Before her translucent skin was sallow and unhealthy. Now it positively _glowed_. It was known that woman became prettier when pregnant with a girl… But how she could possibly resist her very tempting offer? No matter how happy and cozy Droma's temporary little cottage was, it could _never _compare to the grand Ravensden hall.

'Oh Merlin Droma. You're not pregnant with a … with a _half-blood,_are you?' Cissy whispered with a horrified look on her face.

'No Cissy, _of course not._I completely disregarded the fact that I threw my life away for Ted and cheated on him with a pure-blood, therefore getting myself pregnant. What do you think?'

'Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.'

'Oh shut up Cissy!' Droma snapped 'It's not time for your high and mighty attitude right now!'

Ah. There was the Droma she knew and loved.

'Sorry' Cissy said whilst looking at the ground. 'But you said it yourself. You threw your life away for him. _Why? _You're Andromeda Cygnus Black. You could have _anyone_ in the world!_' _

Droma smiled knowingly 'You'll know when your in love. And its Tonks. Andromeda Cygnus Black Tonks.'

Cissy wrinkled her nose in distaste at her sisters new name. She still wasn't sure there _was_such a thing as love. Especially feeling love towards a filthy muggle.

Apparently, Cissy's distaste was visible. Droma laughed and said 'Oh come one. Its not like he's just chasing after you for your approval but I'm sure he'd like to meet you.'

Cissy thought about it for a second 'One step at a time, Droma.'

Droma nodded 'Understandable.'

Cissy and Droma gushed for hours on end about baby names, clothes and the latest baby fashion. Cissy had always looked forward to talking about babies in the future with her sisters but she had imagined Droma sitting in a castle like manor with a rich pure-blood husband. She never imagined sneaking away and meeting her sister in secret in a quaint little cottage with a muggle for a husband. Merlin, what has the Black family come to?

* * *

Droma and Cissy had tears running down their faces with laughter.

'And… and then she said 'Merlin somebody had too much wedding cake!' Droma choked out.

Cissy and Droma were recalling the time when they saw Arianne Goyle a month after her wedding. Arianne was pregnant but Bella didn't realize that. Sometimes Bella didn't think. And she ruined a mood.

'Did you see the look on that psychotic cows face? She couldn't believe Bella said that!'

Suddenly the door slammed open and they heard a voice shout out 'Dromeda?' Merlin, that must be Droma's muggle husband. Cissy suddenly remembered who her sister now was now.

'In here Ted. And I have a special visitor!' Droma turned to Cissy and winked as if her being here was a special treat.

Droma's husband walked into the room and Cissy suddenly had a flashback.

_Droma exchanging longing looks with the boy who sat at the Hufflepuff table. Droma sitting with the boy in the library when everyone was supposed to be asleep. Bella hissing and pointing at the boy while Droma looked guilty. Mother shouting at Droma in the kitchen about a boy called Tonks. Over and over again, thoughts and coincidences flashed through her head while Cissy stared at the boy._

The man came over while Cissy was thinking and stuck out his hand for her to shake. _Ew_. Cissy looked over the mans shoulder and found Droma looking at her desperately, pleading.

Cissy slowly lifted her hand and shook it and said slowly 'A pleasure to meet my sisters' husband.'

He smiled at her 'Likewise. I'm sure Dromeda is delighted that you're here.'

Cissy cracked a smile and drawled 'I should hope so.'

He laughed, then nodded at Cissy, kissed Droma and left. The moment he left Droma started talking 'Thank you _so_much Cissy. I appreciate that you're being civil.'

Cissy nodded, still dazed at her actions. She had touched and laughed with a _muggle_. What would mother say?

Cissy didn't usually use the term mudblood. She understood that muggles were filthy and she agreed but how could _mud_run through their veins? She only used the term when she wanted to offend someone or prove a point but not often as she didn't like using words she didn't understand.

'Man it's hot here isn't it?' Droma laughed 'And so quiet!'

Droma pressed a button on a large box and suddenly it lighted up while crazy sounds came out of it. Then she picked up a remote, prssed a button and a waft of cold air came out. Merlin, it was a muggle circus in here and sadly Cissy was the side-show.

Droma started telling Cissy mother-in-law horror stories. Merlin after Droma finished all those stories, Cissy never wanted to get married!

'I'm thinking about continuing the Black tradition of naming our children after constellations.' Droma said whilst looking at Cissy hesitantly.

Cissy nodded in agreement 'You've already lost so much of our family, and done so many things wrong. Maybe you should do one thing right.'

Droma looked at her lap then looked at Cissy, her eyes brighter than she had ever seen 'I know that you don't agree with my decisions but I've done the right thing.'

Cissy snorted 'The right thing? For whom? You completely disregared your duty to out family…'

Droma cut her off 'I meant the right thing **for me**.'

Cissy sighed 'Droma I am never going to agree that you've done the right thing by abandoning us but you look better than you ever have. But... Why did you have to leave so quickly?'

"Because I couldn't take it anymore," Droma responded with tears in her eyes. "You could survive without me, so could Bella. But I was suffocating, Cissy.

Cissy started laughing piercingly, her laugh so high-pitched that it hurt her ears. Droma looked shocked that her _perfect _sister could make such a sound. 'You're so selfish.' Cissy said. "Suffocating! But I'm suffocating everyday!" The laughter was tearing through her throat never stopping. It was painful.

'But you never said.' Droma's face, her hands, her lips were white. "You never said anything. Anything. How could I have known?'

'I doubt you would have stayed anyways .'

She hesitated. 'Maybe.'

Cissy stood up. She heard enough. It was time to leave.

'Wait!' Droma shouted desperately 'I couldn't take care of you then because I couldn't take care of myself. Please stay. I'll be a better big sister.'

Cissy looked at her, long and hard. It was time to let go of the past and look forward to the future. Cissy suddenly looked at her watch. They had lost track of time. Mother and father would probably be back in two hours time and she told Droma that.

'Will you stay?' Droma said hopefully.

At the sight of her bright, hopeful cinnamon colored eyes, _so familiar._ She couldn't help but agree. 'For now.' Cissy said smiling gently before sitting down in the large, comfortable arm-chairs.

Droma smiled, and the action made her throat feel funny. It was _so odd_ seeing that familiar action considering that the situation was **completely **different.

'That's good enough. For now.' Droma smiled and in that moment Cissy knew that she got her sister back. And she was never letting go.

* * *

-A/N: Did anyone notice that in the presence of her sisters Narcissa automatically becomes Cissy? I think it's because she feels more childlike and less responsible in the presence of them. Anyways I hope you liked this chapter! I'll try to update more often.


	6. Surprise Visit

-A/N: Hey, this story is in Droma's point of view, it's basically Cissy's visit in her POV. I wanted to thank minordetails and clareabelle7! If it wasn't for them I probably wouldn't have made this chapter as good as I hope it is. Enjoy and please R&R!

* * *

******Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.**

Ida Scott Taylor was certainly a favorite. I sighed softly, not wanting to alert Ted to my ever-growing sadness but it was inevitable. Surely I did not miss my parents, for I didn't have a relationship without in the first place.

_Even father? You were his Droma. His favorite._

That annoying voice in my head was talking again, making me doubt everything that I had felt so sure about. But just as the quote above beautifully stated, I should not grieve over the past.

But for once in my life, the choking sensation was finally gone! My throat, which had been slowly tightening every second that I stayed in that dreaded house had finally left me. I was drowning in sorrows and Ted was my savior.

I touched my stomach lovingly. The baby that was growing in my stomach was a product of our love. If my family had any chance of taking me back, my baby killed that chance. And I thanked Merlin everyday that the temptation was _finally _gone. I loved Ted but my sisters**… **

The heart has reasons that reason does not understand. That quote was so true in my case that it was almost scary. When I left that accursed home, I was in a trance. Basic thoughts were the things that moved me forward. _Pack trunk. Leave room. Keep Cissy quiet. Walk quickly. Don't turn back. No matter what._

Yes, Cissy had been the one to see me on the day I had left. She figured her out rather quickly. She could see past her fumbling excuses and see the true reason. She was a Slytherin for a reason after all. The Slytherin princess. With her long silvery blond hair, icy blue eyes and long and pale aristocratic fingers, she was the perfect Slytherin, pure-blood daughter.

Bella and Cissy could live without me- they both could and they would excel marvelously. But I just couldn't anymore. I was choking, a piece of me dying every second. If I stayed any longer… I didn't even want to _think_ about what would have happened. _Evan Rosier, Ugh. _

My parents were so willingly ready to throw their middle daughter to the sharks. Literally. Even father. And I was _his Droma_. His supposed favorite. But if I was his favorite, than how could he force me into a loveless marriage? Mother and father purposely weren't overly affectionate in front of Cissy, wanting her to think them not in love. They wanted her to get used to loveless unions even though they _were_ possible. You just needed to make a little sacrifice.

But no, the ladies of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black would not _sacrifice._ The word probably wasn't even in their vocabulary's! They would always have the best. And why wouldn't they? They originated from The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black and everyone was willing to appease them. No matter what the cost.

Everything they thought I was, _I thought I was**…**_ It just fell apart right in front of them. Of both of us. And I'm just _so_ _much more _aware now. I had let myself be overcome with prejudice. Every step I took, every time my mouth opened was just another mistake to them. I was feeling so… _lost._ Everything that I thought was true, the rules drilled in my head as a child turned out _to be wrong_. **So wrong**.

I wanted to be able to have a normal relationship with my sisters without having to worry about what I say. It was like watching a sunny day from behind a closed window. As children we had been so close. But as Bella got older, _as her sanity bled away_ she got so suspicious and… crazy.

Cissy was faithful to the Black house and I could not burden her with my disloyalties. It would be like purposely spilling ketchup on a beautiful white dress. It would be a crime to ruin something so innocent, so perfect. But as I got older, I just couldn't hide it anymore. They noticed how I noticeably got quieter, slowly distancing myself from them so the blow wouldn't hurt so bad. It was one kind thing I could afford to do for them.

But either way it didn't matter. I was certainly gone- far beyond where I was ever likely to be reached again!

I had already given up everything for Ted. Without him, life was simply not worth living.

_Andromeda Tonks, are you really **still **in bed?_ I chastised myself firmly. My stomach tingled at the oddness at my new name. _Andromeda Cygnus Black Tonks.  
_  
I stood up slowly and made my way to the washroom. I brushed my long, brown hair until it was gently waving all the way down my back. I picked out a pink shirt, high-lighting the natural pinkness of my cheeks. Merlin I had come a long way from the past.

I was always beautiful, all the Black family members are. My hair was long and lovely but lacked shine. My eyes were wide and warm but lacked happiness. My skin was translucent and pale but lacked… a certain glow.

Now my eyes were only _too_ happy, shining and twinkling at anyone and everyone, pure-blood or not. My hair positively glowed a healthy shiny mahogany. My lips and cheeks were always naturally pink giving me no reason for makeup. But my skin was the biggest change. Before my skin was _too_ pale, leaving it looking sickly and unhealthy. Now it was as if there was a flashlight constantly glowing beneath the surface of my skin.

I couldn't help but notice the good its done on my physical and emotional state being away from my so-called _family_.

I began mixing up the batter for the chocolate chip cookies that Ted adored. It was an absolute crime that pure-blood wizards and witches have never tasted this delicious sweet.

I had just finished taking out the warm and sticky cookies when I heard three slow knocks. I was wondering who it was, since Ted still wasn't due for another hour or so. Oh well.

I flung the door open, a smile already on my face. And for my life I would have **_never _**imagined who was standing on my door-step with an unsure look on her face. I impatiently waited for her to move her wondering gaze up to my eyes. I wanted to make sure who it was before I got excited. Because Narcissa Cygnus Black would never be seen in a muggle location. Let alone wearing plain black robes.

As her shocked _but_ hesitant blue eyes, that had stared at me so many different times met mine, I couldn't resist grabbing my baby sister and hugging her. I honestly never wanted to let her go. Because I knew if I gave her the chance, she would leave and never gather the courage to come see me again. And I needed my sisters. Ted was my husband, but I need my someone to talk to, someone to gush to, someone's shoulder to cry on. I could not burden Ted with my insecurities. I didn't want him to think I regretted marrying him.

I opened my mouth and basically had verbal diarrhea .

'Cissy! How are you and our lovely family members? The members of The Noble and Most Snobby House of Black? I know you think I'm stupid for leaving you all and I know you want to be in love, but not any price. But you should take risks baby Cissa! Don't let them control you, don't let them mold your life for you! You must be strong! Have a voice! Just because they're too weak and prejudiced to do anything except stick their noses up and show off _their lovely necks_ doesn't mean you have to as well! Do you think they care much about your future? **_No!_** All they want is a perfect pure-blood doll that they can control but you must rise above this Cissy! You must speak up!'

As my mouth decided to take a break, I looked expectantly at Cissy. Oh my**… **what if I had said too much when Cissy wasn't even in my home? What if she was going to turn back around and walk away with someone _if_ anyone was with her**…**

Oh! But what if Bella was with her? Bella was the family protector, the one you ran to when someone bothered you, the one who would be there for you, forever and always.

But of course forever and always had conditions. And I had broken those conditions horribly. Cissy slowly shook her head. Why did she look so bewildered? I immediately tried to reassure her.

'Oh… well having you is more than I could have ever dreamed of!'

Then, quickly before she could refuse, I ushered Cissy into my quaint home. I felt a bit nervous. Would she judge it? Most of the furniture was second-hand from Ted's friends and family but over-all everything was very cozy. Quite honestly I proffered this to the overly extravagant Black home.

Cissy's eyes widened quite dramatically. Was my little home really _so_ bad? Suddenly another waft of chocolate chip cookie air washed over my face, making my senses go wild. Delicious.

That was probably why Cissy still had a fish out of water expression on her face. That is until she remembered she was a lady. How many times had I heard growing up from Cissy's mouth 'Really Droma dear, that is _so_ unladylike.'

I laughed shortly out of relief 'Oh. This must be the first time you smell freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.'

I could see Cissy over-analyzing my words, probably hoping I'd elaborate. Sorry Cissy but I don't want to have that conversation that would probably end with a chastisement from my _baby_ sister.

'Droma…' Cissy murmured softly. Her voice was exactly the same. 'I'm here to save you.'

I automatically began to smile, because I was so happy she was talking to me but then I thought about what she said. Save me? Save me from what? I asked her and she replied;

'I'm here to bring you back to us and to your fiancé .' Cissy stated with whilst looking at me like I was stupid. Oh dear Merlin I hope she's joking. Fiancé? I'm married!

Before smartly reigning in my emotions like the mature adult I _thought _I was, I exploded.

'Are you serious? I don't have a fiancé! I thought you were here so we could laugh and talk about old memories and _bond._ I didn't think you were here to try and make me a prisoner in that horrid house! I've been oppressed for _so_ long and I'm finally free.'

'Free? You think that being _here_ means your free? We can do all those happy stuff in _our own _home!' Cissy continued talking, her head lifting up ever so slightly and her tone growing noticeably snobbier. Is this what my baby sister had become?

'I love you Cissy, but no. Ted means the world to me. And so does my baby.' I unconsciously placed a hand lightly on my stomach looking at my unborn child with an adoring look. I wonder what thoughts were going through her head right now. I couldn't read her thoughts but I could certainly see the disgust, disappointment and embarrassment passing quickly on her face ending with regret**…** I wonder why.

I opened my mouth unconsciously once more and continued talking. Continued insulting my sister. Every word I spoke, her face became more and more insulted and pained. _Why couldn't I control my tongue?_

'Anyways I couldn't possibly go back to living as I did. The Black manor was so dark and gloomy! Living here, with Ted has been so happy. I've risen above the darkness Cissy. Maybe you should too.'

After my heartfelt speech, the only thing Cissy could stammer was;

'Oh Merlin Droma. You're not pregnant with a … with a _half-blood,_ are you?'

What did she think I was pregnant with then? A tomato? Ted was muggle-born and I was pure-blood so that obviously forms a half-blood. Merlin. I could stand the insults that were being thrown at me and Ted but no-one, not even my sister would insult my un-born baby.

'No Cissy, _of course not._ I completely disregarded the fact that I threw my life away for Ted and cheated on him with a pure-blood, therefore getting myself pregnant. What do you think?'

I tried to feel guilty for snapping at my baby sister but the next words out of her _perfect, pure-blood mouth _stopped me cold.

'Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.' she replied, lifting her nose up and glancing disdainfully down at me.

And there she was. Narcissa Black, Slytherin princess. Her defense mechanism was pulling out the pure-blood character that mother had installed in all three of her daughters. Well if she wanted to play that way, I could too. I lifted my head up, showing off _my own _lovely white neck and spoke down to Cissy.

'Oh shut up Cissy!' I tried to speak airily but ended up sounding angry 'It's not time for your high and mighty attitude right now!' I really was not good at being the perfect pure-blood. Maybe I should just leave that character to Cissy.

And for once in her life, Narcissa Black didn't match my gaze but instead looked down and _apologized! _

'Sorry' Cissy said whilst looking at the ground. 'But you said it yourself. You threw your life away for him. _Why? _You're Andromeda Cygnus Black. You could have _anyone_ in the world!_' _

_Cissy dearest, I don't want or need anyone in the world. Being away from mother and father is already a blessing._

I smiled knowingly 'You'll know when your in love.' _If you're ever in love. You **must **get a little less picky. '_And its Tonks. Andromeda Cygnus Black Tonks.'

I could clearly see how much she abhorred my new name because it was another little thing that had changed about me.

I couldn't help but laugh as I imagined what Ted would think of Cissy. She honestly wasn't _that bad_ but she could be quite pompous and rude.

'Oh come one. It's not like he's just chasing after you for your approval but I'm sure he'd like to meet you.'

I could tell what was going through her head at the moment. _Not likely_. But hopefully she wouldn't say anything to offend Ted or myself too badly.

I knew that she was thinking it over but she only nodded and replied 'One step at a time, Droma.'

I could feel a smile threatening to take over my face as I heard my affectionate nickname. I'm glad that at least the simple relationship with my sisters, I mean _sister_ had not changed.

* * *

I clutched my stomach, while Cissy was choking on her laughter. We had been gushing for hours on end about babies but now we were laughing at Bella and her _unfortunate _lack of mental filter. Well I suppose it wasn't so unfortunate considering it made everything much more less dull and so much more dramatically funny.

Arianne Goyle was an over-confident, snobby and rude person that thought her and her family above the rest, even though her blood-lines were at best, average.

Arianne Goyle had been pregnant, but of course instead of simply staying quiet until the lady could announce her pregnancy, Bella just had to insult her.

Bella had stared in shock at her and said rudely (but for me I just thought it was hilarious)

'Merlin somebody had too much wedding cake!'

Mother had gasped in horror, Arianne had screeched shrilly, and Narcissa had dropped her shopping bags in shock. Mean-while I had been almost rolling on the floor with laughter and Bella was in the middle of it all with a smug albeit confused look on her face.

The Black family was most likely the laughingstock of the pureblood society now. Narcissa Black, the perfect daughter. Bellatrix Black, the psychotic eldest with no filter. And then there was me. The blood-traitor. And now Sirius ran away to the Potters, making himself a blood-traitor, just like his favorite cousin. That favorite cousin was of course, me. Aunt Walburga must be _so_ proud.

Suddenly the door slammed open. _That must be Ted._ As if he had heard my thoughts he shouted out 'Dromeda?' Calling me Dromeda was his special name. When we first met he tried calling me Droma although I had stopped him. That nickname was reserved for Cissy and Bella. _Only_. Anyways it reminded me too much of the painful past.

I should probably give both Ted and Cissy a warning. I didn't want Cissy to be rudely surprised. Hopefully she could compose herself enough to be polite.

'In here Ted. And I have a special visitor!' I turned and Cissy and winked. I wanted her to feel welcome here because hopefully, this wouldn't be her last visit.

As Ted walked into the room, Cissy's eyes glazed over. She continued staring at him with an empty look in her eyes. Kind of creepy, really**…**

Ted walked over to Cissy and stuck out his hand politely, even though he was slightly confused as to why his wife's younger sister was staring at him. I was waiting for Cissy to shake Ted's hand. **_One… Two…Three… Four… Five…_**

_Merlin, Cissy please just forget about the fact he's muggle-born and shake his hand!_

Cissy looked at me from behind Ted's shoulder with an unsure look on her face with a slight hint of disgust. I tried to make my eyes as pleading as possible.

_Please, please, please don't let there be awkwardness between some of two most important people in my life._

As if Merlin himself answered my prayer, Cissy slowly lifted her hand and said 'A pleasure to meet my sisters' husband.'

Ted unaware at her hesitance and how much it took from Cissy just to say those seven words replied most likely with a smile 'Likewise. I'm sure Dromeda is delighted that you're here.'

Cissy smiled, even though it was slightly more of a smirk and drawled, ever the Slytherin 'I should hope so.'

Ted laughed, nodded at Cissy, and then he walked over to me. As he leaned over to kiss my cheek, he looked into my eyes with a curious look in his eyes before walking out.

Cissy suddenly had a dazed look on her face. She was over-thinking, over-analyzing. As usual. She was probably imagining mother and father's reactions at her making eye contact with a muggle-born. It went against everything the Black's stood for and I appreciated that Cissy could push that aside for five minutes.

I thanked her but she didn't reply. I laughed hoping to break the silence and turned on the television and the air-conditioner. What interesting contraptions muggles had! At every button I pressed, poor Cissy jumped lightly. And when the first cold breeze of air came on her face, she looked positively frightened._  
_

* * *

Cissy and I were laughing and talking for almost an hour and a half but the whole time I was talking to her, I was trying to think of how to best approach a subject that I wanted her opinion on.

'I'm thinking about continuing that Black tradition of naming our children after constellations.' I said whilst looking at her with slight hesitance. But to my surprise she nodded immediately and agreed, telling me that I should at least respect one tradition. But the way Cissy said made me feel as if she was trying to make me regret marrying Ted.

I looked at my lap, but when I looked up, I knew my eyes were shining brighter than they had that whole day. My eyes were shining with conviction, because this subject was something I held close to my heart.

'I know that you don't agree with my decisions but I've done the right thing.'

Cissy snorted 'The right thing? For whom? You've completely disregarded your duty to our family…'

I cut her off. She needed to hear me out 'I meant the right thing **for me**.'

Cissy sighed. She made me feel as if I was a child! 'Droma I am never going to agree that you've done the right thing by abandoning us but you look better than you ever have. But... Why did you have to leave so quickly?'

"Because I couldn't take it anymore," I responded. Against my will, I felt my eyes watering with the tears that I now knew were there "You could survive without me, so could Bella . But I was suffocating, Cissy.

Cissy started laughing piercingly, her laugh so high-pitched that it hurt my ears. I was shocked and it probably showed on my face. How could my youngest sister have such a… bitter sound leave her mouth? 'You're so selfish.' Cissy declared. "Suffocating! But I'm suffocating everyday!" The laughter bounced off the walls, echoing. Never stopping.

Cissy? Suffocating? How was it possible that my sister was feeling the exact same feelings as I had? But it was **_Cissy_**. Perfect Cissy! The one who was destined to be mother and fathers ideal child. But she never said! She never showed**… **never showed anything! Her face was always blank, perfectly not showing any of the emotions and hatred that was supposedly brewing on the inside.

_My fault. All my fault._

It was my job to look out for Cissy, _baby Cissa_. Bella was _never_ expected to continue hovering and protecting Cissy after she got married. It was _my_ duty to care for Cissy and I had failed. And apparently failed horribly because I would honestly never wish the slowly dying feeling I had when I was in the Black house. _Choking. Literally choking_. And all this time, my own baby sister had been feeling it all along. I never knew that we were both wasting along-side each other.

And now she had to endure it all by herself in that accursed house all by herself because mother and father were not exactly the best shoulders to cry on. Merlin, we weren't _allowed_ to cry. Tears were for the weak you see. Instead express your anger and focus on embarrassing the person who had angered you so, instead of breaking down into an emotional, blubbering mess. No need to look weak and become an unnecessary target.

The conversation was literally on the precipice of disaster.

'But you never said.' I finally choked out. My face felt cold like stone, and probably resembled the colour as well. My face, my hands, my lips were white. "You never said anything. Anything. How could I have known?'

'I doubt you would have stayed .'

_No need to doubt, Cissy dearest because I probably wouldn't have stayed. I was and am too selfish._

But how could I say that to her? She would leave regardless of the words out of mouth.

'Maybe.' I whispered. I could not lie and say I would have stayed, but I couldn't admit to her that I would _not _have stayed_. _But her face still twisted and a hurt expression covered it. I doubt she realized how… _heart-broken _she looked otherwise she would have made her face as impassive as stone and left. And I would never see her again. Another sister lost, simply due to my stupidity. _All my fault. As usual._

Cissy stood up and her face was determined. Determined to leave and probably never come back. I needed to say something, fast.

'Wait!' I shouted desperately 'I couldn't take care of you then because I couldn't take care of myself. Please stay. I'll be a better big sister.'

And I **would** be a better sister. I would be her shoulder to cry on, her diary, her best-friend. And hopefully she would become mine.

Cissy murmured that too much time had passed and that she should be getting home soon but she didn't look as determined as before.

I decided to cease the chance and reach out on a limb 'Will you stay?' I asked hopefully.

Cissy smiled and I was shocked at how _truly beautiful _my younger sister was when she removed the forever disgusted look on her face. She said gently 'For now.'

I beamed back at her and her eyes shined slightly with tears threatening to fall. 'That's good enough. For now.'

And it was good enough for now. My sister had over-come her pure-blood ways for an evening and I was _so proud _of her for that. Hopefully, I would help her to be rid of them all together.

One step at a time Droma.

My sister was here, smiling at me in my muggle home and I would make sure that nothing would take her away from me. I just got her back and I was never letting go.

* * *

-A/N: Hi I hoped you liked Droma's POV, I didn't know if I was good at writing her point of view or not so please review and tell me what you think. If you liked her point of view, please review so I can try to fit it in more often. Oh and did you notice how both sisters aren't aware at how much they both care for each other? I hope you liked this chapter and please read and review


	7. Big mouths and short tempers

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of it's characters; they are all property of J.K Rowling.**

-A/N: Hey, back to Cissy's point of view! Hope you like it :)

* * *

****_Narcissa**_**

I wiped my clammy hands on my plain robes whilst taking a deep breath. _This is it_. I thought in my head, trying to be brave. But I was a snake, not a lion and I was never destined for bravery.

I shook slightly in fear and trepidation. After all that Droma had told me about these newly formed _death eaters_, I was worried about returning back to my house. Back to my uncaring façade.

If I had only opened my eyes**… **

Before I could muster up the courage to open the door, Elfie the house-elf opened it whilst squeaking continuously 'Master will see you now, mistress Narci.'

Maybe if I hadn't been so deep in my vanity, I would have noticed things. _Sick things._

Maybe I should have payed more attention.

Maybe I would have cared. But in the end, it probably wouldn't matter. I was always too worried about how I presented myself and as always I would keep my mouth shut throughout the process. The perfect pureblood wife. Always seen but never heard. A pretty ornament, nothing more nothing less.

_Lucius doesn't see you as a pretty ornament. He respects you. _I thought and personally, I agreed with myself. Lucius respected me and we actually had intellectual conversations about politics, the ministry and our lives.

But now was not the time for such dwellings. Now was the time to put on an icy front and walk out to father and graciously deny any accusations as to what I was up to whilst acting the part that I knew so well. The part I played my whole life and that I would continue to play for the rest. I could not have father knew that I visited my estranged sister.

'You called me, father?' I asked, tilting her head innocently, vaguely aware that I was wearing filthy and plain black robes. That would be suspicious as well. If only I picked a more expensive looking pair of black robes!

'Yes' Father said, his eyes scanning over me suspiciously 'It has come to my attention that you were not present where your mother and I had assumed you would be. Why is that?'

'Well father, Lucius had decided to surprise me by picking me up. He apologizes for not gaining your permission but expects you to graciously accept his apology.' I said smoothly off the top of my head. Lucius would cover for me, lest father ask him but of course he would demand to know what I was really doing. Caught in a web of lies, literally.

Should I choose to divulge all the information Droma had told me, she would be the enemy of many pure-blood families. My elder sister, who had always been so strong was now at the mercy of her baby sister.

How ironic.

But while the irony was not lost on me, I didn't fail to realize how grave the situation was, and how fathers face grew slightly redder, very different and more alarming than his usually fair skin.

Father nodded, but still looked skeptical 'And why, may I ask are you wearing these**…** rags? I am positive you have suitable clothing that you can be seen with in public?'

What to say, what to say?

Guilt was the best approach, I decided on a whim. I lowered my eyes, as if ashamed to say what was on my mind 'Well father, Lucius instructed me to dress casually as we were planning on playing a round of quidditch. If I may be so bold, you and mother haven't ordered me any causal clothes for this year.'

Father nodded 'Well, eligible young ladies usually favor extravagant clothing but very well. I'll be sure to inform your mother to order a wardrobe worth of _causal clothing_. I expect to see those rags burning in the fire-place tonight. No daughter of Black will be seen wearing such an embarrassment.'

I nodded, relieved that their conversation had gone smoothly. 'Thank you father.'

He looked at me, long and hard and I worried he had figured out that I was lying to his face.

But it wasn't as if I was a Gryffindor, used to wearing my heart on my sleeve. I was a Slytherin for a reason so I lifted my head and matched my fathers gaze.

Father gazed at me once more before nodding 'That is all.'

I nodded once more but as I turned to leave father's voice boomed loudly through the now quiet sitting room. 'And Narcissa**…** I am also expecting you to quit your new found hobby of _quidditch. _That is an order Narcissa.'

I nodded and murmured quietly 'Of course father.' before slowly climbed the stairs of the manor, still slightly dazed at how horrible the shaky conversation could have gone.

I opened my bedroom door and inwardly winced. Mother had designed my bedroom, as she had with all of her children and it felt oppressively prim and proper. I didn't know whom my room was supposed to represent but it wasn't me. The dark, Slytherin green colour was seen at all angles. The Slytherin coat of arms looked down at me from it's place above my bed mockingly. I've lived in this bedroom for all of my life yet there was so little of me in the ostentatious space. I personally preferred purple, as it _was _the colour of royalty.

An owl appeared at my window, pecking incessantly. _Who would be contacting me now? _I opened my window, allowing the noble beast to drop the letter quickly and fly out. I instantly recognized the Malfoy family coat of arms sealing the letter. I allowed my eyes to soften momentarily before hardening once more. Lucius was writing to me, something he very rarely did. I wondered idly what the occasion was.

The letter appeared to be simple, containing nothing of great importance. He started the letter by simply writing my name in his elegant script;

_Cissa,_

_I will be picking you up for our evening meal. You can expect me at a quarter to seven. Please ensure that you are ready by that time. I would be most displeased should we be late for our reservations at Foie gras meilleur._

_I have sought for permission from your parents and have received it. I shall see you soon then. Warmest regards to you and your family._

_Yours indefinitely,_  
_Lucius Abraxas Malfoy _

So formal and to the point. Lucius, with me at least was genuine. He didn't waste time with fake pleasantries as he knew he would have time to converse with me face to face. Every word was written with classic elegance. I could almost imagine his drawling voice as he spoke the words he wrote.

And dinner at Foie gras meilleur! The new French restaurant was very popular, elegant and **_expensive_**. It only accepted pure-bloods with influential names therefore very favorable in societies sharp eyes.

My stomach tightened in anxiousness. Surely I wasn't so very worried about my date with Lucius? But I _did_ feel worried, almost anticipating something dreadful**…**I tried to think of a reason to my un-ease. And it was as if a light-bulb was lit above my head at the sudden flashback of memories that had not yet happened.

_Father. Lucius. Father talking to Lucius. Father coolly telling Lucius to ask permission before taking me out unknown. Lucius gets confused. When Lucius is confused, he is **angry**. And all that anger and suspicion will undoubtedly land on my delicate shoulders. I would crack under the pressure. And all would be lost._

Lucius Abraxas Malfoy did not contort with blood-traitors. The same was of course said for me and the House of Black. But now it had dawned upon me that by associating with Droma, I too would be seen as blood-traitor in some pure-bloods eyes and would might burned off the family tapestry. I felt myself panicking before I tried to see reason. This had not yet happened and I would ensure that it would **not**happen in the future.

_Narcissa Rosaline Black! How dare you sit around moping when you must be ready by a quarter to seven? Get up **immediately **and begin preparing yourself._

I sat up with perfect posture before standing up and walking over to my immensely large wardrobe. My love for clothes was one of the few things I had inherited from my mother.

I knew that where we were dining at was extremely high-class. I picked up one of my more flattering and elegant robes and looked at it for a second. The deep green robes were a gift from father and they were truly lovely. The forest green colour made my white-blond hair shine and my complexion glow. Dressing was the last thing to do. I did not want to ruin my expensive dress-robes after all.

My bathroom was stocked with the best hair and make-up products in the wizarding world. I did not particularly like make-up and did not use it on a daily basis but for times like this, it was a necessity. I decided that facial powder was unnecessary considering my complexion was fair and clear without the need of make-up. The rose colored lip stain was flattering. I applied it on my lips and brushed pale pink blush onto the apple of my cheek. I used black eye-liner to put emphasis on my eyes. My make-up was done. Now my hair,

I scrutinized my hair. The simple pin-straight hair would simply not do now. I picked up my wand, noting how warm it felt in my hand and styled my hair into curls. Next I braided my hair into complicated yet elegant up-do, leaving a few curls to brush my cheeks. I sprayed my hair with a potion that was said to leave every hair in place.

I dressed into my robes, taking care not to ruin my hard-work. I then opened my dresser, and picked up a precious snake brooch. The brooch was a Rosier family heirloom and I was gifted with it.

I looked into my gilded mirror and I was pleased with the after result. My face and robes screamed elegancy and wealth. I was pleased with the effect and hoped Lucius would be too.

Now I looked the part of the pure-blood princess and I felt it too. Droma had shocked me with talk of _death-eaters_and pure-blood supremacy but the part of me that loved to raise my head and talk down to people haughtily was not lost and probably never would be.

I checked the time. Lucius wouldn't be pleased if I was late and either way I never was. I considered being late one of the most embarrassing things for a lady to do. If you cannot arrive at the time decided, either re-schedule or cancel.

I walked the down the stairs slowly. I would never rush for anyone, as I was a Black and someone well worth waiting for.

'Cissy dearest! How long it has been since I've seen you!'

Bella was sitting stiffly across from mother when I entered but now she was rapidly walking toward me, with an excited expression on her face. Her lips were dark red, a red as dark as blood. Her horrible bee-hive hairdo bounced behind her, as if it had a mind of it's own. I had always wondered why she didn't keep her hair in the lovely natural curls that she wore when she lived in our house. I asked her once and laughed, almost manically and said promptly 'You expect me to keep my hair in my _perfect curls_like mummy dearest wanted?'

And that was the end of that conversation.

I smiled at her 'Hello Bella. It has been so long! I expect the married life has busied you?'

Bella laughed, her eyes lighting up prettily 'What married life? I haven't Rod in about a week!'

I noticed mothers eyes tightened slightly at the affection nick-name that Bella had for her husband. She didnt approve. My eyes widened slightly in shock. They haven't even been married for a year!' But Bella**…**You haven't even gone on a honeymoon!'

'I expect we'll go on one as soon as Rod gets back from his**…** _business _trip.'

Bella put a slight emphasis on the word business that if I hadn't been paying much attention, I would have missed it. Mother then stalked off to the kitchen.

'But Cissy! You look so lovely, where are you headed off to in those robes? And wearing the family heirloom, no less!'

'Well**…**you know that Lucius has been courting me?' I said hesitantly noticing Bella's eyes lit up in anger before she replied tightly 'Yes? What of it?'

'Well he's going to escort me to Foie gras meilleur for the evening meal.'

Bella nodded but she still didn't look impressed. She leaned toward me slightly, lowering her voice and whispering fiercely 'Cissy, he's bad news. Stay away from him! All he'll do is harm you.'

I looked at her with widened eyes before squinting them slightly. Lucius was a Malfoy, he would provide for me wonderfully. The name had credibility, he was one of the richest wizards alive and he was handsome. What else could I want?

I started walking swiftly towards the grand doors when I heard Bella's voice behind me 'Cissy' she called angrily 'Are you going to meet up with him?'

Bella was glaring at me fiercely. Most would expect me to cow. There were grown men who shirked from the face of Bella's rages, but I held my ground. I lifted my chin, ever so slightly and replied in a haughty, unaffected tone. 'I have been preparing myself for this excursion since lunch. If some people expect me to bend to their will, they are highly mistaken**…'**

'Cissy! When have you become such a little brat! Now why are you going out with him?'

'Well I don't have to explain my reasoning to you but he's been courting me and maybe he doesn't particularly want anything but to enjoy my company? Is that so very surprising to you?'

Bella rolled her eyes dramatically ignoring my last statement 'Is it not it obvious what he wants? He wants to make you his wife! The next Mrs. Malfoy!'

'And why is that so repulsing to you? My future does not concern you and all that matters now is that he wants to escort me to Foie gras meilleur.'

'And?'

What did she mean by 'and?' Did she think we were planning to secretly elope? I would never shame mother, father and The House of Black that way, especially not after what we had suffered when Droma ran away and eloped.

'And?' I arched a brow, as if inviting Bella to continue.

The elder Black sister balled her fists. Her fingers twitched angrily as if she longed to smack me in my impassive face. Instead she released her breath into an angry shriek and twirled around, her skirts fanning out impressively before stalking away angrily.

_Yes, that will teach you not to attempt to control me. _I thought pleased with myself.

That was the problem with Bella. Father, Bella and Droma were too hot-headed and could not convert anger into cold indifference. I, however could reign in my emotions and make others, such as Bella feel inferior with my cold in-difference and logic. Revenge is a dish best served behind closed doors, when you are thinking rationally. _N__ot_when you are angry and un-able to control yourself.

But even though Bella couldn't act the part of the indifferent pure-blood as well as I did, I still loved her. I remember how she took care of me at Hogwarts. I was so excited**…**

**_Flashback _**

_My eyes snapped open. Jumping out of bed, I raced to my dressing table, dragged a brush through my hair and pulled on my favorite dress robes. I squealed in excitement no longer able to hide my excitement._

_'Ah. I thought I heard someone squealing like a banshee,' Bella entered my room without knocking, appearing at my bedroom door, her smile wide. Ignoring her insult, I spun around, gazing into her eyes excitedly._

_'I'm going to Hogwarts, Bella! Me, you and Droma will be together!'_

_'I know,' Bella murmured her eyes softening and she pressed a light kiss to my temple, then pulled away. 'And you know what that means, Cissy. From now on, you don't show emotion, at least not in public. We're daughters of Black. We're Toujours Pur. We're above the rest.'_

_I felt slightly insulted. It wasn't as if I was a blathering idiot, un-able to control my emotions!_

_As if she knew how her words had insulted me, Bella reached out to touch my shoulder._

_'That doesn't mean that you're incompetent or stupid Cissy. I just want you to be careful. It doesn't even mean that we can't be us. It just means that we'll have to be more indifferent to those below us, that's all.'_

_'Of course.' I glanced away, into my bedroom mirror, unsure what to say. Bella then said, slightly panicked 'I'd better go and get dressed. Mother will throw a fit, seeing how you have just got up, Droma's still in bed and I am not yet dressed!' I laughed before motioning with my hands that she should go. _

_Later we sat at the table, ready to break our fast. Yet even though I had not even a sip of water all morning, I could not swallow a piece of food down my throat. I sat at the table, innocently excited._

_Mother scolded me 'Narcissa, you are too thin! No woman is going to be able to consider you for her son if she can barely see you!'_

_'I'm sorry, Mother. I'm just too anxious to eat.' I said quietly, keeping my eyes respectfully lowered._

_'Druella it's quite all right! She does not need to think of such subjects yet. She is but eleven years of age! Quite young in my eyes.' Father broke in winking at me, his voice sound jolly and happy._

_At the sound of his voice, I glanced up slightly in surprise. He usually agreed with mother, because they were so alike so it was surprising that he disagreed with her._

_Father later escorted us to his study for the yearly Black pride speech._

_'You're all young ladies now. It is prudent that you know that people are judging the Black name based on you. Wherever you are and whatever you're doing, never forget that the Black pride comes first. You three were born into The Most Ancient and Most Noble House of Black and you need to respect that._

_I expect no less than satisfactory reports from all of your teachers from all of you. Bellatrix, I also want you to make sure that Narcissa and Andromeda mingle with the right people while they're at school. Our reputation will be tarnished forever if they associate with anyone less than our status. You are my eldest and I hold you responsible. One word to the contrary and I will be **greatly **displeased. Is that clear?'_

_'Yes, Father. I can assure you that I'll take care of them and make sure they live up to the Black standard.' Bella murmured quietly quite unlike her usually loud and boisterous self._

_Elfie had opened the door suddenly, her head peeking in slightly. She began to squeak 'Elfie is most sorry to interrupt Master Black but Mistress Black has stated that you must leave now.'_

_'Then we must leave at once. Come girls and keep in mind what I've told you.' Father led us from the room and we followed, exchanging relieved glances. His speech wasn't as dreadfully long and boring as usual._

_We arrived at the platform, saying good-bye to mother and father formally before standing with our backs tall and proud, a superior mask already on our faces. We might have been young but we left silence in our wake and we have ever since. _

Three sharp raps on the door brought me out of my thoughts. I felt slightly guilty about my fight with Bella and I planned to send her a letter inviting her to lunch. She was only looking out for me. But even though I felt guilty about what happened, I would not apologize and she knew that. Taking her out to lunch would be my own sort of apology.

But now Lucius was here and I hoped father wouldn't come to rebuke him for taking me out without permission, because I had obviously lied about who I was meeting with.

I opened the door quickly and rushed outside, forgetting to be walk demurely.

'Cissa?' Lucius said, whilst arching his brow. 'Why are you running? Quite unladylike might I say.'

I cringed slightly. Running _was _unladylike and I felt ashamed that Lucius had to remind me 'You're right Lucius. I'm sure that it will not happen again.'

Lucius peered at my face curiously 'Cissa dear are you ill? I've never seen you so**… **submissive. I must say, I prefer the fiery Cissa much better.'

I felt my eyes widen slightly. That was probably one of the first times he admitted that he was fond of me. I knew that we lov**…**that we were very fond of each other but he wasn't very good with admitting his feelings. And I was only submissive because I was worried! My tongue often ran loose around Lucius and I was worried that I would mention something Droma had told me. The only solution would be to mind my mouth and attempt to stay quiet.

I arched my eye-brow teasingly, attempting to be the 'fiery Cissa' that he was so fond of 'Is that so? Well I suppose I might seem a bit off because I feel**…**rather peaky.'

Lucius's expression morphed into one of concern 'Well, I suppose we should apparate to the restaurant quickly then, shall we?'

I then had a rude awakening. I had the chance to have what my sisters have- if I didn't mess up too badly. I nodded in answer to his statement and he grasped my elbow before we whirled away to the restaurant.

_**Lucius's point of view  
**_**  
**We arrived at the restaurant and by the time we had been escorted to our table and waited for our server, I thought over the possibilities of why Cissa felt peaky and the conclusion I came up with was disturbing.

Was she not fed properly? I honestly had expected better from the House of Black but I suppose my trust in them was misplaced. If Cissa was not even _fed _properly then I shudder to think of how hungry she must be. Poor Cissa.

And come to think of it, she _did _look worried and a bit upset. Merlin did she have an argument with her psychotic sister? Bellatrix Lestrange (or Bella as Cissa insisted on calling her) was certainly crazy and sadistic. She was a bad influence on Cissa but her other sister was even worse! Running away with a mudblood no less! Father even worried what would happen to our reputation if I continued to court Cissa but I had firmly told him that Andromeda was the problem, not Narcissa.

But I worried about Cissa a bit considering the… _group _I was now involved in. They could hurt her, especially if they knew how much I cared for her. They might even be bold enough to ask me why Cissa didn't join, considering her sister was so very faithful to the cause.

But Cissa was too kind and I knew I couldn't allow murder to be on her conscience. She was perfect and innocent. I wouldn't allow her to be ruined. Much like her maniac of a sister. I felt for Rodolphus but he honestly didn't seem to mind or notice her increasing madness.

While I was lost in my thoughts, I wasn't preoccupied enough to notice that Cissa didn't strike up a conversation was she usually did. She must be rather hungry so I fixed a passing waiter with a glare. He immediately came and asked us what we would like to eat, stuttering slightly. Probably a Hufflepuff.

I sneered at him before turning to Cissa. Before I could ask her what she would like to eat she immediately told me to go ahead and order for her.

Slightly startled, I picked up the menu and read through it quickly.

I looked into the waiter's dull black eyes and told him our order, the whole time glaring slightly into his eyes;

'For our appetizer we will have two servings of Foie gras à la cannelle.'

Cissa looked at me, her eyes questioning. 'Foie gras with duck marinated in spices' I murmured under my breath.

'For our main course,' I said louder 'We will have two servings of the miel magret de canard laqué.' I looked at Cissa and I told her quietly 'Seared duck breast with honey glaze.' She smiled in approval.

'And for desert, we will have Soufflé au chocolat chaud avec sauce aux framboises.' I said all with a perfect French accent. I knew that Cissa enjoyed chocolate so I knew she would like the chocolate soufflé with raspberry sauce as much as I did.

The waiter had charmed his wand to write what I said on a piece of parchment. When I finished he looked at me expectantly and said 'Would you like to have your appetizer arrive with your main course or would you like it to come before the rest of the meal?'

'Have it arrive before the rest of the meal '

'And what would you like to drink?'

'White wine.' The waiter nodded before walking swiftly toward the kitchen.

Cissa looked at her empty plate, still quiet. 'Cissa,' I said softly, hopefully prompting her to talk to me 'Are you quite alright? If you are so very peaky, then we will eat our meal as soon as possible and then leave.'

Cissa's eyes watered. _This is absurd_. This was not Cissa. First of all Narcissa Black was impassive in public and second she did not, under any circumstances _cry_. Merlin what had happened to her?

'Narcissa Black,' I said quietly but firmly 'Tell me **now **what is going on! Why are you crying? Why are you so quiet and submissive? And do not tell me it is because you are peaky or hungry!'

She seemed to contemplate for a moment but when she saw the glare on my face she opened her mouth and said softly;

'Lucius… please do not be angry with me. I do not like hiding things from you and I am worried what you would say if I told you.'

What was she hiding from me? 'Narcissa, if you do not tell me now what it is you are hiding, I will be more angry than you can ever imagine.' I promised her.

She looked worried but blurted out 'I visited Droma! I know that mother and father will be terribly angry but please do not tell them! I simply had to visit her…she was so alone and I missed her horribly.'

I saw red. I stood up, grabbed her arm, taking mind not to grip her arm too tightly and stalked out of the restaurant, leaving the waiter who had just arrived at out table with our delicious Foie gras à la cannelle. I ignored everyone's questioning eyes and apparated to Narcissa's house muttering under my breath angrily;

'That dreaded girl poisoning her mind with mudblood nonsense**… **Andromeda Black is a devil**…** Cygnus should have gotten rid of her on the spot**… **I should have payed attention**…**Of course she would have wanted to go to her sister**…**Should have been more careful**…**' I turned to Narcissa and looked into her eyes, glaring slightly. I usually reserved this look for Bellatrix, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

'Narcissa,' She flinched at my usage of her full name 'I cannot deal with this problem right now… but rest assured that it **will** most certainly be dealt with.'

* * *

-A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger! I hope you liked this chapter. Thanks for reading and please review!


	8. Of bleeding hearts & letters

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of It's characters. They are all the property of J.K Rowling.**

-A/N: Hey I hope you like this chapter, sorry for the long wait! This is from Lucius's point of view, but I might put a bit from Narcissa at the end of the chapter. I'll try really hard to update as soon as possible. Please read and review! :)

* * *

_**Lucius's point of view**_

My blood was boiling beneath the surface of my skin. I stalked away from the Black manor angrily before angrily apparating away to Malfoy Manor. How dare she betray me? How dare her stupid sister manipulate her? Of course Cissa was too forgiving (In some cases) but her bleeding heart would be her only downfall. Of course I could not abandon her in her time of need. No, I had a much better idea. Perhaps I could take Cissa on a little... _fieldtrip_.

I had never thought she would be so weak and stupidly kind. I had always thought her coldly indifferent. And perfect. Much like myself. Of course, that wasn't to say I wanted her to be a piece of glaring stone but I had thought she would put blood first and love second. No matter though, I would most certainly cleanse her from her first and last visit to the blood-traitor and the muggle.

I had truly respected her and thought her to be a level-headed adult. I was so angry and wanted to vent my anger on someone that I grabbed a piece of parchment and drafted a strongly worded letter to Cissa.

_Narcissa,_

_I will hear no more of this. I would think that you would not like to be chastised before your family, but if this… __**subject **__is broached again, perhaps you would find me addressing your father with the matter. The rest of your family and I have quite aptly stated that Andromeda is no longer part of the Black house-hold. I have gotten quite weary of repeating my words over and over and you will find that I will not be repeating them once more. _

_Perhaps you would also like to know that I've found your that your little excursion was just short of atrocious, and that it is grating upon my nerves, this __**very **__moment. I once believed you to be a mature, independent-minded adult, but what you have done has completely changed my mind of that. You ought to be ashamed of yourself- you are certainly going to shame the rest of your family and myself should you continue and be caught._

_You __have disappointed me,  
__Lucius Abraxas Malfoy_

There! Perhaps she would feel a bit ashamed of herself. Merlin, I only hoped that she washed up before dinner. Wouldn't want myself or her catching any blood-traitor viruses. I contemplated briefly whether or not to send a howler. I then decided that the letter was scary enough without my icy, clipped tone with it.

Anyways if her family heard it, she would be burned off their family tapestry instantly. I might have threatened her with running to her father, but if I did that, then who would help Cissa over-come this muggle madness? No I had to help her.

I sealed the letter with the Malfoy crest so she surely couldn't be mistaken as to who sent it. Anyways if anyone but myself or her immediate family had spoken that way with Cissa, I would most likely commit murder. If I could get there before Bellatrix did.

The thought that I might be to harsh on her passed through my head for a second before I dismissed it. This was all for her own good after all and I was going out of my way to help her. Any other man would've just left but I couldn't do that to her. No, I would make her the Cissa I knew. The Cissa I decided to marry so many years ago…

_I walked across the marble floors slowly, my silk dress robes twirling around my feet. My lip was curled in dusgust as I scanned the Black Manor. Of course, compared to the Lestranges, Rosiers, Wilkes and so on, their manor was considered grand and ostentatious, the house-elves quick and efficient and the ladies of the Manor beautiful and gracious._

_But for me, coming from the long-line of Malfoys, their manor was simply decent, the house-elves rather sloppy, and Bellatrix and Andromeda Black were some of the most ill-mannered ladies I had ever met. Perhaps I simply had high standards, but I wanted the best. Manors, elves, food and ladies…_

_The Black's were holding a ball to choose a husband for there two eligible daughters (Bellatrix the eldest was already engaged to Rodolphus Lestrange, they were both complete maniacs, suited for each other)_

_Bellatrix Black was loud and ill-tempered. Unlike most ladies she could simply __**not**__ hold her tongue! She was haughty and defiant. She hexed people, her tongue was loosened to gossip and she was __**definitely **__a force to be reckoned with. But one thing that surprised most was how fiercely protective she was of her sisters. I almost pitied Rodolphus but he was just as sane as her which was troubling to say the least. _

_Andromeda Black was not much better. People said she had a bleeding heart and that was her weakness. She had a gentle beauty, unlike Bellatrix which slammed you in the face, but a beauty that increased every second that you gazed upon her. The Black family was well established and had money. _

_There was the slight problem that I couldn't stand her. I had not spoken to her much, but the mere fact that she had Mudblood friends was enough to put me off. I do not even want to __**think **__about what a nightmare of a couple we would be._

_But the youngest Black… the Black's precious __**baby**__ was perfect. I knew for a fact that she was intelligent, the professors praised her knowledge often. While intelligence wasn't a terribly important factor in a future wife - after all, she wouldn't need to work for a living, I did need a wife who could hold a conversation. She was also amazingly beautiful, with flawless smooth skin, long blonde hair, large blue eyes and impeccable manners. She was exactly what I desired. Narcissa Black was perfect._

_The only problem was that she had been entirely unimpressed with me over the years. I had taken out most of the Slytherin girls, the ones I deemed worth, but never her. I had never asked her, because I knew she would turn me down. She turned everyone down, which only made her more unique in my eyes. She was something special, something unattainable and perfect._

_As I finally walked into the ballroom, I spotted Narcissa Black. She was on the arm of her father and he was parading around with her. And why shouldn't he? She was obviously his fair beauty, unlike the other two Black girls, who both were dark like the night while Narcissa was light like the snow. _

_Her robes were draped around her lithe figure, a perfect ice-blue to match her famed eyes. Her long blonde hair (silver like the moon) was gently tugged into a braid which was draped on the side of her neck, her mouth a perfect red. She walked on light feet, greeting her guests, the perfect hostess. Her eyes, as blue as the sky met mine and she nodded slightly, acknowledging me._

_I had made my choice. I would woo Narcissa Black and I would make her my wife. It would certainly not be easy (what ever was?) but she was worth it. _

I had not yet made good on my decision. I had not yet proposed even though my father urged me to. I had no doubt that her father would accept my proposal and give me her hand, after all I _was_ a Malfoy. But I wanted to make sure the timing was perfect. I wanted everything to be perfect.

I knew that the Malfoy engagement ring would look perfect on her finger, and hers alone. She was the only lady worth of our family heirloom. It was ostentatious and it certainly would certainly send thrills of excitement through her body when she looked at it. The ring was huge, demanding attention and beautiful. The ring that was currently in my pocket, urging me to finally place it on her aristocratic finger.

Oh, I could remember Octavia Flint, a girl that I had taken out twice to Hogsmede. The girl actually believed that I was planning on marrying her! What a joke. We had been sitting in a compartment together and she had opened her stupid mouth and blabbed without thought;

'_Lucius, where have you __**been?**__ I missed you already,' stated Octavia in her high-pitched voice. Rabastan Lestrange who sat at her side rolled his eyes. The rest of our group obviously didn't know much of her, only that she was in our year._

_I had taken Octavia out twice only but recently she had become more clingy. I was already planning on leaving her ever since I had seen Narcissa at that ball and made my decision. _

'_I cannot wait to get to know your family, but I am sure they'll like me.' Octavia continued proudly. Alright, this is getting a bit much. I have to put a stop to this soon. I opened my mouth but Bellatrix Black beat me to it. She laughed loudly, sarcastically_

'_Flint, I honestly do not think Abraxas Malfoy will be interested in meeting you, or are you stupid enough to believe Lucius is planning to keep you around any longer?' Bellatrix said with a smile in her voice. It was obvious that she was sadistic, getting pleasure from mocking people._

_Octavia glared at her, flaring her nostrils. 'How dare you! Lucius, defend me!'_

_Bella threw her head back and laughed one more, looking gleeful. I decided that this was definitely enough _

'_Octavia, that is quite enough. You're of no value to me, leave or I'll remove you from the compartment myself.' I knew that I wasn't acting like a gentleman but I couldn't bring myself to care. Octavia looked terribly hurt but had enough pride to leave the compartment and shut the door behind her, leaving laughter in her wake._

Now she glared at all who spoke to me, and sent death glares my way every chance she got. It would have been worrying but I was Lucius Malfoy, so whenever she decided to… _grace _me with her glare of death, I simply lifted my eye-brow, scowling softly.

Anyways the Flint's weren't nearly as influential or cordial as the Black's or the Malfoy's. Cygnus and Druella Black were quite well-mannered and I could remember many interesting memories myself, Rodolphus and Rabastan at the Black house for afternoon tea.

Ladies were often seen, not heard but Mrs. Lestrange didn't grasp that concept. She did rather seem to like to hear the sound of her own, and one of her favorite topics of discussion was all the mischief we had gotten into as young boys. She really could not hold her tongue. Rodolphus often tried to silence her but to no avail.

It surprised me how ungrateful and unappreciative Rodolphus was. I knew I was one to talk, considering I was someone who didn't appreciate **anything **but at least his mother was alive, well, healthy… … _not _a blood-traitor. I did not even know what I did to deserve this. A dead mother, an ailing father, a girlfriend drifting away from me...

But even as I thought of my misfortunes in life, I knew Cissa was more important than all of them. I held Narcissa by the tips of my fingertips. If I gave her the chance, I knew she would leave. And I would not give her the chance.

I saw an owl flying through the night sky. As I let it in, I noticed disappointedly that it was not Cissa replying, but a letter from Severus. He was inquiring about my health, Narcissa and so on. I noticed how… much more depressing than usual his letter was. With a start I remembered it was because the _great _Mudblood Evans was now dating Potter, a fact that Severus had mentioned once to me. I had, of course forgotten until this very moment. I quite honestly wasn't very close to Severus Snape but Cissa had always been so very fond of him. The things I do for her…

But honestly! Loving a mudblood? How atrocious! I cannot even seriously process that! Why would anyone fancy _Evans_? I mean, look at her. Her hair was so bright (she looked like a Weasley) That hair, that ...

I could not even register what _that_ is! If I _ever _fancied a mudblood, Oh Merlin...

Father would hang me from the ceiling for days if that were the case. He would disown me and throw me to the werewolves! He would lock me in my room and forbid me to ever leave the house. And that was not even including what my _other_ relatives would do!

I remember quite well the discussion I had with Severus. I had tried to make him see sense, but I failed. Severus and myself had been sitting in the Slytherin common room and he had told me suddenly, interrupting the peaceful silence;

'So did you hear that Potter is dating Lily?'

'What or who is _Lily_?' Severus had rolled his eyes as if I was joking but honestly, who was _Lily? _

_'_The Mudblood Evans.' He said stiffly, with an uncomfortable look on his face. Well if it was Evans, why didn't he just say so?

'Honestly, what have the Potters come to? Mudbloods now? _Really_?'

'It is all over the school. How have you not heard?'

'It's not as if I listen to stupid Mudblood and Potter love story gossip! I actually have a life.'

Severus suddenly looked distressed. What was his problem?

'I think it's completely revolting.' I said lazily, curling my lip in disgust. 'I don't understand how someone can do something like that. What's going through Potters head right now?'

Severus avoided my eyes and murmured 'No idea'

'And why do you care so much? What's going through _your_ head now?' I drawled in a cool tone.

'Probably some crazy notion that I'm in love with her.' He muttered dryly, dropping his chin into his hands and looking out the window.

I scowled. 'This is not a joking matter, Severus,' I said sharply. 'You shall embarrass all of us.'

'You just don't get it.' Severus had hissed, sending me an angry glare.

_No_, I thought, disgusted. _Of course I don't_.

Perhaps I was simply spoiled. Narcissa was a Black and from one of the purest blood-lines in the Wizarding World. She was beautiful, pure-blood and we were a perfect match. I suppose not everyone could be that lucky.

Andromeda Black was certainly not one of those lucky people. But marriage wasn't something someone did out of love. It was something of convenience, binding two powerful families together. Sirius Black did not understand that but Andromeda had at least attempted to explain to him.

It had happened a long time ago, at the Black manor. It was Christmas eve and the Black's had invited many pure-blood families to celebrate.

***

_Narcissa and I had gone to the kitchen for a late night snack. When we came out we found Sirius and Andromeda there._

_For a long time, Sirius and Andromeda stood in front of each other in a slow silence. Sirius erupted 'Why are they all like this! I can't take it anymore, they're going to drive me mad!'_

_**Who was the boy talking about? **__I looked at Cissa but she just motioned for me not to speak. I turned my attention back to them. _

_Andromeda looked away. 'They're our family,' she chided gently. 'You're a man. It's different for women. We are seen, not heard, We are considered objects, not people. You must understand this, Sirius.' _

_He folded his arms across his chest. "What's that supposed to mean?"_

_The corridor was empty. Everyone was asleep in the Black manor, except for Andromeda, Sirius, Narcissa and myself. _

'_You can do whatever you like.' Andromeda told him, gently reaching out to grab his hand. 'You can pick and choose what you want to do with your life. I can't.'_

'_But why?' He whined childishly but his eyes showed some of his real pain, 'That's not fair!'_

_Andromeda hugged him suddenly. Her eyes were shining with tears that had not yet fallen. 'I know.' she murmured softly. 'Do you think I agree with this madness? Do you think I like it? But I'll stay quiet and accept, because if I don't, what's going to happen to Cissy? To Bella? If I were to defy mother and father, you know what the consequences would be. You know how it would tarnish the Black name.'_

_We all shuddered in unison. Andromeda continued, her voice slightly rough. 'Everything we do affects everyone else. It's all mixed up. Do you understand?'At his swift nod, she continued._

_"I know you want to protect me, protect Cissy," she murmured to him, cupping his face in her hands 'And that means a lot to me, it really does. But it's…difficult' she looked away. "Everyone has to make sacrifices." She bent down and kissed his cheek. 'And anyway, so far, Lucius has been extremely good to Cissy.'_

_I looked at Cissa, and she had tears running down her face. But she didn't look back at me, she was too focused on the two emotional people in front of us._

_Sirius groaned. 'Yeah I suppose. But I still don't like it, and I still don't approve.'_

_Andromeda laughed. 'I love you. You know that, don't you?'_

_He nodded, face serious, and whispered back, 'I love you, too.'_

_Andromeda nodded and stood up, wiping her tears. 'You should get back to bed.' He saluted her then ran off in the other direction. _

_Andromeda sighed and then walked off as Cissa started to cry. Merlin I had forgotten she was even there. She started to talk through her tears _

_'Lucius, I'll… I'm going to lose her!' She said shakily. I was horrible with crying women so I just shook my head 'Of course not.' _

_She glared at me fiercely 'Yes, I will. You don't understand. I'm going to lose her. Forever.' _

_I frowned, startled by her swift change in demeanor, but she'd already turned on her heels and was walking quickly down the hall._

_***_

I saw my owl, flying through the night, it's bright eyes the only visible thing in the flat blackness. I let it in then took the letter it bore, and opened it to find Cissa's elegant hand-writing.

_Lucius,_

_I apologize for my actions but I do not regret them. She is my sister, through and through and nothing will change that. I will not trouble you anymore with my excursions and you will most definitely hear no more of this. You will have no need to be weary, for I will not force you to repeat your words any longer. _

_Please think well that if my father hears of this matter, I will have no one but Andromeda, which apparently troubles you so. Also, be conscious of the sharp eye of society on the two of us and of your duty to your family, not to mention our reputation as the highest ranking families in the pure-blood wizarding world. _

_Might I say, I found your behavior in the restaurant just short of atrocious as well. As long as Andromeda welcomes me in her home, I will be there. _

_Forgive me for disappointing you,_

_Narcissa Rosaline Black_

The letter had subtle hints of tears, showing me that she was more upset than the strongly worded letter suggested. But the way she ended her letter made me think… '_As long as Andromeda welcomes me in her home, I will be there.' _

Perhaps, I could pay a little visit to the blood-traitor. And give her… might I say a little warning . She would probably call it a threat but I would call it a promise. A promise that I would most _certainly _keep.

* * *

_**Narcissa's point of view**_

It was an odd feeling, fainting.

Crushing…suffocating… feeling my life go to ruins

There wasn't enough air in my mouth to pull into my lungs.

A strange, unnatural ripping sound replaced the screeching in my ears. With a start I realized the ripping sound was the sound of me sobbing.

Everything was black.

White.

Red.

And I knew that everything that I held so firmly in the palm of my hand had danced away, too far out of my grasp to ever have again.

I blacked out.

* * *

-A/N: I hoped you liked the chapter! I'll try to update as soon as possible. Did you see how cruel Lucius was in his letter to Narcissa? It was all for her own good, I guess :P Anyways please review, they make my day!


	9. Of secrets and Black madness

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of it's characters; they are all the property of J.K Rowling.**

**-**A/N: I hope you like this chapter! I was wondering for a long time if I should do Lucius's or Narcissa's point of view but I decided to do someone that's kind of random at the beginning. Oh and thank you to everyone who reviewed! I tried to finish this chapter as soon as possible. Please read and review! :)

* * *

_**Bellatrix's point of view**_

My life, I mused, was a game, and a highly dangerous one at that. Yes, it was dangerous but powerful… _oh so powerful_. Unlike those idiotic, typical pure-blood _ladies,_ my game wasn't how to marry my daughters off or how to get a suitable heir for my husband. No my life was special, _different_ and that was exactly how I liked it.

And Mother said my only duty was to bear children and be a good wife. How humorous!

This group, these _Death Eaters_… they're so fulfilling. My Lord, he's utterly brilliant, and so powerful, I felt small and useless next to him. It's exhilarating.

A player born and bred, I dwelled without regret. Purebloods were such masters of appearances; merely belonging to such a deserving society was reason enough to be the luckiest creature on Merlin's Earth…

_Death eaters. _I thought, my eyes gleaming. I could not tell Andromeda or Narcissa for they were too weak and faint-hearted. No, they would disapprove. I could not imagine Droma mouthing an _Avada Kedavra_ or Cissy wearing the mysterious white masks that we were forced to wear.

But Andromeda had found out. She knew and she was disturbingly insightful.

I glanced at the Daily Prophet, noting the current worries of the modern world. It was a bitter pill to swallow, every time there was a sob story from a stupid mudblood on how their stupid families were killed because of 'evil' Lord Voldemort. Why couldn't anyone see or realize that the vision he had was the right direction for the wizarding world?

Didn't anyone understand that this constant appreciation of mudbloods was damaging the wizarding world? Why did we allow them into the Wizarding World, even though they could never understand or appreciate it? We should be going out and claiming our power and superiority… not allowing these mudbloods into our world, practically kissing the ground they walked on! My Lord will take us there, all of us there… he will make muggles aware of who should have been in control.

I was so oppressed in the Black Manor. My hair charmed into _lovely _curls at my mother request (But a request was a demand, and I would be foolish to disregard it) And my true fiery character was hidden behind a demure and quiet lady (Even though I was no such thing) But I had won, because mother couldn't hide me until I was married. She attempted to flaunt me at balls and her plan had back-fired terribly. Only Rod understood me, understood my need for power, my hunger for it….

Society was propriety and Hogwarts was release, giving into all the rashness of my character, for all that mattered there was power and I had _oh so much_ of it. I was a Slytherin, had been, officially since the second the Hat touched my head, and for generations, as far back as I could remember – as long as I had known about Houses at all.

For if in society I _should _have kept low and stainless, be one among the eligible young girls. But where was the fun in that? Be a mere girl of marriageable age, an unknown face in the crowd? No I wanted to be remembered. And with **Him **I could be.

I was not a lady, and I never had been. I should have been a boy, and I failed as a lady so what was I? **He **had the answer. I was lethal, but only under his guidance.

I was part of a game, such a dangerous one, such an exhilarating one. But how could I sit at home and play the dutiful role of the wife? No with Him, I was better than a man. I would always be better.

Oh, how disappointed my Lord had been with me when Andromeda betrayed us! The pain he could inflict on us, on me was… _**so powerful**_.

_Unprecedented wrath had flooded into my Lord's eyes as he twisted the wand another angle, increasing the strength with which he was Cruciating me with. A vicious smile appeared on his face, as I screamed, simply to please him. _

_For I could hold the screams. I could bite my lip until it bled so no one would hear my pain. But he was pleased with me when I screamed in pain, so I would continue. _

_My Lord knelt down beside me.'Bella, Bella,' He crooned and I immediately lifted my head in answer, for I could simply not deny him. 'I am quite disappointed in you Bella. Instead of anger at your sisters betrayal, I only see sadness. What's this? Love?'_

'_My Lord.' I choked out softly. He was expecting an answer and I was powerless to deny him 'It… it is only Andromeda and Narcissa… No one else will become my weakness… only them.'_

_He laughed 'Why do you call them Andromeda and Narcissa in my presence? I have seen in your mind that you call them __**Droma **__and __**Cissy'**__ He sneered now, mocking me but I did not feel insulted. He now leaned down and glared directly into my eyes. How could I feel insulted when he had taken me under his wing, turning my insecurity into power? When he had saved me?_

'_Did you think you can hide the whole situation without me knowing?" he asked softly as he ran a single finger down his yew wand. A mocking smile appeared on his face. 'Did you think … that because you are my __**servant**__ that I would allow you to hide things from me?'_

_'I… I am sorry, my Lord.'_

_He laughed once more, ruining what was supposed to be a joyous sound.'Sorry is not enough Bella. This is for your own good. I will allow no one to weaken you. No one.' _

_Pointing his wand at me, he pronounced the word, saying every syllable as if to make sure I would get every bit of pain possible. '__**Crucio**__.'_

_In addition to pain, a new emotion entered my eyes. My fearful eyes widened when I realized I could no longer prolong the upcoming torture that would surely last all night._

I had learned my lesson then. It was not Andromeda's fault. The Mudblood had always been obsessed with her, staring at her as if he was a starving man and she was food. He had manipulated her, probably fed her a love potion. It was a _**fatal**_ mistake made by the Mudblood. **Nobody **took things away from me. Ever.

No, Andromeda Black belonged to me, belonged to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black and it was only a matter of time before I got her back.

Only a matter of time.

_**Narcissa's point of view**_

I opened my eyes slowly. What was I doing on the floor of my bedroom? Merlin the house-elves really needed to improve on their dusting.

I stood up slowly, noticing a letter that was still open on my writing desk. Oh… oh dear Merlin. Lucius…

_Just short of atrocious… shame the family… chastised before your family…quite weary… You have disappointed me…_

I had blown it. He was angry with me, disappointed in me and he would never forgive me. He would leave me and he would hate me. He would embarrass the Black name and get me burned off the family tapestry. I could imagine it now, as only my name remained, forever dubbed a blood-traitor. Another little blemish to tarnish the Black's good name.

I refused to cry. The only problem was, my tear ducts seem to be ignoring my command as huge unsightly tears (very inappropriate) shook my body as I melted to the floor. And my heart felt as if it was melting...and being trampled on all at once. Because _I _was the one that was supposed to wear his ring, redecorate his mansion, run his house-hold, and have his babies. And now I won't get to do any of that because _I had messed up._

Did Lucius not realize that I had spent the better part of my young adult life being absolutely impeccable for him? Being and acting my very best because I knew that was what he wanted? What he needed? I dressed to impress for his benefit; and I socialized and plotted, playing the role of a soft-spoken little lady perfectly.

I was an angle-faced princess. A perfect breakable doll in a gilded cage. For him, I became a perfect, un-breakable, pure-blood queen because that is what a good pureblood debutante _does. _I had not essentially done this for mothers' benefit, although she had been ever so pleased when she found a daughter willing to listen to her _tips_.

After all, how easy would it be to disregard all the rules that were made for our benefit and become almost savage, as Bella and Droma had done? No, I had done it for him and now that had gone to waste.

My door opened suddenly, and I knew it was not mother for she insisted on knocking _like a lady_ and she had no reason to come to my chamber either way.

Bella framed my doorway, staring at my tear-streaked face shockingly. It was not a normal occurrence to find a daughter of Black, let alone _me_ on the floor shaking with tears.

If I was a muggle, I would have shouted for to leave or curled into myself, still crying. It was in their blood. Muggles were volatile, easily offended. But I was _not _a muggle, I was a Black so I stood up and cleared my face of any signs of distress.

'I don't get it.' Bella said slowly, searching my eyes as if they had the answer that I could not give her. 'Why are you crying? You're _Cissy_. You don't cry.'

I sighed 'You always want to _get it_.' I walked over to my seating area, gesturing for Bella to sit down and dropped gracefully into my seat, brushing my hair back and crossing my legs at the ankles.

'Yes and why not? Are you not my sister or have you managed to forget that fact?'

I leaned forward smirking 'Fine. Than why don't _you _tell _me _why you have been leaving your house so often? From what I hear you are hardly at your home. That is hardly appropriate actions for a newly-wed is it not, Bellatrix?'

She glared at me, surprised by direct questions. She thought I would have plotted and plotted, graceful smiles and half-shaded words. Yet I had no time for these Slytherin tricks, and I did not feel like reading between the lines.

Her eyes shifted over to my desk and she spots the still open letter. She narrowed her eyes 'Who was the letter from?'

'Tsk, tsk, Bella dearest. It is most rude to answer a question with a question.' I leaned forward and lowered my voice, as if I had a great secret to tell 'Now, will you answer my question or not?'

'I still do not understand what your question is.' Bella said stiffly.

My eyes narrowed and for once I didn't reign in my emotions. A big mistake on my part. 'What were and Rodolphus talking about in the garden last month?'

My blue eyes shifted to Bella as I interjected. I realized, a second too late, that I shouldn't have spoken.

'You little sneak!' Bella seethed. "You were spying on us!"

I thought about Lucius as Bella glared at me. I knew he would expect me, the younger girl to cow. There were grown men who shirked from the face of Bella's rages, but I held my ground. I lifted my chin, ever so slightly and replied in a haughty, unaffected tone. 'I had been in the gazebo since lunch that day. If _some _people spoke with all the lilting gentleness of a bullhorn than it's hardly…'

'Shut up, Cissy! This is far more important than you will ever understand.' Bellatrix snapped, her skin was flushed nearly as red as her dress. 'Now, what did you hear?'

'That there is a new group that you're interested in, that is not fit for ladies might I add, especially a Black.' I replied, admitting no more knowledge that I had already, accidentally admitted.

'And?'

'And?' I arched a brow, as if inviting Bella to continue.

She huffed angrily 'This is none of your business, Narcissa. I know that you are accustomed to getting your way but you must wake up and smell the roses one day. Not everyone will bend to your will and I will most certainly not be intimidated by my _**baby**_ sister.'

'You are worse than useless, Bellatrix. Leave my chambers immediately and consider this conversation terminated.' I said, each word that left my mouth was thrown, quick, sharp and precise, from my lips. My voice was harsh, designed to hurt, my cold eyes searching her coal black eyes (as Black as her name)

For I was ice, hard to break and cold. You would never realize what I wanted until I got it. Hard to understand. But while I was ice, Bella was fire. Hot, irrational, dangerously _obvious_. She was dancing around the edges, waiting for me to crack so she could attack. But I would not give her that satisfaction, so I glared into her eyes until she stormed off, skirts twirling around her dancing with the air. I smirked. So predictable.

Yet no reasoning nor predictability could distract me from the bitter taste of failure.

Bella told me to wake up and smell the roses. Well too late, I already got a whiff and I was not impressed. Lucius taught me have strong skin. Yes, he had taught me to not give in, because breaking down was the one thing almost everyone wanted from me…

_I was halfway to the library when the collision happened; my quills and books went flying everywhere, and if I was not a lady I would have probably said inappropriate things. Still I did not appreciate this treating of my person. It was simply unacceptable. I looked up, a cold scowl already on my face, my mouth already open to give a polite but stern lecture on how one was to treat a lady._

_I fell silent as I caught sight of the sleekly handsome Slytherin Prefect towering above me. 'Oh, hello, Lucius.' I said coolly, a slight flush on the apples of my fair cheeks. Oh I wish that I had not decided to wash my hair even though I didn't have my conditioner! If only my hair was gleaming silky smooth down my back or pinned up like it usually was._

_Lucius Malfoy cocked an eyebrow as he regarded me coolly 'Narcissa.'_

_I had opened my mouth to reply when he spoke, making me freeze a cold feeling creeping upon me 'I would highly appreciate if you do watch where you are going. I assure you it would not go unnoticed.' He smirked lazily, his voice an arrogant drawl whilst his eyes were flashing with glee. He was teasing me! The nerve of him!_

'_I do not search for your approval, Malfoy. Now __**I **__would appreciate it if you stepped out of my way.'_

_Instead of reacting as I expected, as __**normal **__people reacted, he laughed 'I suppose the embarrassment of your sister receiving a howler today has not yet washed away, has it, Miss. Black?' _

_Offended, I opened my mouth to respond 'I do not quite understand what you are referring to Mr. Malfoy. Any decision on my families part is a good one.' I said stiffly._

_He leaned forward 'Do not worry, Narcissa.' He said, oddly gentle. 'I am sure that your sister will get rid of her pet Mudblood soon enough. It will not do any permanent harm on the Black name.' _

_My eyes softened, but my tone was still cold 'I am not concerned with the matter. Just because Andromeda wants to upset our kin by befriending blood-traitors and muggles doesn't she is actually serious about the subject.'_

'_Defense mechanism still up, I see?' He retorted. _

_I smirked 'But of course.' _

_A Mudblood walked past us, muttering insults and glaring. I ignored her. Mother said that was the only way to deal with the creatures; they were volatile, easily offended. It was in their blood to be naturally barbaric. It walked away, still huffing. Ugh, what an animal._

_Lucius spoke once more startling me with the urgency in his voice 'Narcissa. It is prudent that you don't show weakness. The teasing and taunts will only get worse if you show how much it hurts.' He now looked into my eyes directly, seriously 'People would kill to see you fall.' _

_I shivered slightly before I nodded. He had shown me a part of himself, behind the mask. He smirked now and drawled loudly, so different from our previous hushed conversation 'Come now, Miss. Black. I will be heading off to dinner and I need a companion for that. Surely you can fill that role?' _

_I sniffed daintily 'I suppose I can grant you that privilege. But be sure that you will not be so fortunate another time.'_

_He laughed, a joyous sound 'I assure you Miss. Black… I will not grow spoiled.' Taking my elbow, he guided me to The Great Hall._

_I was queen and he was king. Lucius was here and we would be together. His glances told me that much at least. For all his insightful gazes and the edges and pieces of him that were too far away from me, too far away for me to understand, I would hook him to my smooth skin, just close enough to lull us into happiness, something rare for pure-blood Slytherin's. We were the top of our year – powerful. _

_And quite honestly, what more could a lady ask for?_

I winced. That howler had been horrible and embarrassing. Aunt Walburga had completely lost control. If it had been mother, she would not have screeched like a banshee at Droma.

**'Andromeda Black!'** _rang Aunt Walburga's voice throughout the Great Hall_. **'You are an absolute disgrace! Besmirching the Black name with your mudblood loving ways! I hope your sisters' have already given you some helpful thoughts otherwise I would be late to my gown-fitting! Black's do not associate with muggles and mudbloods! Are you trying to get disowned?'**

Her voice screeched this loudly, as if the mere thought was putting a bad taste in her mouth.

**'You will stop associating with mudbloods and blood-traitors! You will not be welcome in the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black if you continue with your embarrassing actions! I should hope that you morph into a complete stranger next summer or I'll burn your name off the family tree myself!'**

Ugh. How distasteful. And now I could not even fix Droma's mistake with Lucius! It was not that I did not care for him, because I did but I had to look at this matter with a critical eye and plitical thoughts.

I had blown my chance. Father would kill me. For him, the possible marriage between Lucius and I was a chance for people to focus their attention on another Black daughter. Preferably not the blood-traitor.

The Malfoy's had money and the Black's had pure blood-lines that went back for generations. If they were linked together… Lucius and I would have had children with the most amazing blood-lines in the Wizarding World. A mother from the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black and a Father from the long line of Malfoy's. It would have been a perfect union.

Lucius had always said he had gotten the best Black sister and I couldn't help but agree. Droma, no matter how much I loved her was a blood-traitor and Bella… well there were too many adjectives describing Bella and most of them were not complimentary.

One thing I had noticed recently was Bella's walk. It was so incredibly unflattering! She galumphed with large strides. It was certainly an arrogant walk and made her look like a man!

If only she had listened to Mother's lessons. After all, a beautiful walk is a sign of a graceful, poised lady. I could be wearing ermine and velvet, but if I slouched I would look utterly horrible.

I was simply a fallen princess. And I would go to all ends to make sure I was on my throne again, with my prince by my side and an engagement ring firmly placed on my finger.

It was only a matter of time.

* * *

-A/N: Hey, I hoped you liked this chapter! I tried to finish it quickly because I had a bunch of ideas for the next chapter. I actually miss writing Lucius's point of view so that's the next chapter. If anyone has any ideas, suggestions or anything they want to see happen, please tell me and I'll try and work it in. Please read and review! :)


	10. I used to have everything

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of it's characters; they are all the property of J.K Rowling. **

**-**A/N: Hey, I tried to get this chapter out quickly but I had no motivation! Only two reviews! **Two**! That is so sad! But super huge thanks to Elekat and Mintfrost29 reviewing the last chapter :)

Hope you like it, and I hope it makes you hate Lucius less, hahaha :) Please, please, please review! They make my day and I love feedback! :)

* * *

_**Lucius's point of view**_

I found her. It was so simple, that I thought it was a trap.

She opened the door, a bright smile on her face. I raised my eye brow at her and her smile dropped immediately. She turned on her heel and walked back into her house, the door wide open. I followed. The living room was small and cozy, full of bright light and pictures. It was terrible.

The woman who stood there, staring at me with a neutral expression on her face. I didn't know what to say, speechless. I looked for my Cissa's features desperately and it was her turn to arch her eye brow at me, waiting. Slowly, her lips curled into something that was probably a smile with a sarcastic edge to it.

'Lucius Malfoy.' Andromeda Tonks née Black says, 'A surprise, indeed.'

She did not shake my hand and I had no desire to shake hers.

I found the ability to speak. 'Really, Andromeda? Is it really a surprise? Do not tell me that you have not been expecting me, expecting me ever since your sister showed her face here.'

'Which sister?' She murmured, her eyes wide.

I snorted. 'What other sister do you have Andromeda? Which sister have you not lost?'

She was quiet at that, speechless as I had been mere moments ago.

'You can't stop me from seeing Cissy. She loves me. She _trusts _me.' She spoke passionately, as if she was trying to convince herself.

'Oh, really? You know she doesn't. Don't deny it, Andromeda Black. You can see it in her eyes when she looks at you; in her hesitation whenever you try to prove to her that you have not changed, even though you and I know that you have changed so very much. You're not her beloved Droma any more, and she's not your naïve little sister any more. She's not Baby Cissy now. You can't pretend. Not any more.'

'Andromeda Tonks.' was all she said in response to my passionate speech.

'Does it matter?' I asked her sarcastically

'Not every second of life is war, Malfoy' Andromeda snapped.

'Do not kid yourself, Andromeda. Every moment, every second of the world we live in is war.'

She stayed quiet, staring at her beige carpet with an indiscernible expression, before she looked up, meeting my eyes with her own suddenly bright ones. 'I see.' She said but what she saw, I had no idea. She looked at me more deeply peering into my soul. Her face, smooth and reflective was a mask. Andromeda stood there looking at me, pondering, before she spoke in collected, measured tones, ever the lady. 'When will you give up on her, Lucius?'

I stared at her with wide eyes and I couldn't help but wonder how she could read my thoughts. I would not give up on her, of course not but I thought of it... Oh so often 'Never.' I said but even to me, my voice was weak, unsure.

She took one step forward, glaring straight into my eyes, her face passionate and I could almost see Bellatrix again, for she looked nothing short of haunted, burning with a fire too intense not to consume her. 'It is easy to run from love, Mr. Malfoy. I did not and every person in the Wizarding World resents me for it.' she whispered harshly.

'One can always find a reason to. It is so much easier than simply coming to terms with your feelings. I would hate to perpetuate the idea that you are a coward Malfoy, but that is all you are.' She breathed, deeply, before continuing 'My sister is taking all the risk, delving into the unknown for you. She has never known love before, it goes against everything we were ever taught. Stand by her side. Love her like she deserves. Make every second worth it or don't bother trying. Don't you dare tarnish her anymore then she is already tarnished.'

I swallowed, feeling light-headed under her furious, demanding stare. In the depths of me, I think that I shouldn't stay quiet. I was a Malfoy. But I knew that the fact would hardly matter to Andromeda Black.

'I love Cissa.' I said strongly. It is the first time I've ever said it. Not '_I'm fond of her' _or '_I care for her.' _No, I loved her and the words rung in the silence, strong and true.

Andromeda nodded, solemn.

I was silent as she started to lead me to the door. I was halfway down the drive way when I stopped at her voice. Andromeda stood, half-turned. 'Don't you dare forget what I told you, Lucius Malfoy.' she says from the doorframe. 'Don't you ever forget.'

And then she was gone, silhouetted by warm light, and I stood there.

I turned and continued walking, the setting sun ironically reminding me of my life that was slowly going to ruins.

* * *

_**Narcissa's point of view**_

My life was so empty. I could not bring myself to send a letter to Droma but I would soon.

My hair tumbled down my back, lacking shine and softeness. My face was pale and tear streaked. I looked more broken than I ever had before.

I stood up slowly, pacing around the length of my room and I got lost in my memories.

_The music swirled, tumbling through the ballroom in a gentle wave, sweeping beneath skirts and rustling the curtains as it went. If I closed my eyes, I could see it, could see where I would stand to catch its highest note, could see where to spin and where to curtsey and where to still. It was effortless, all so perfectly simple._

_In my mind I was there, swaying in the arms of a handsome man. I was draped easily on his shoulder, my laughter light and endearing, eyes shining like the stars—I was beautiful, the most beautiful I had ever been, glowing brighter than any woman, no matter their age or political standing. _

'_You're not missing much.' Droma's kind voice broke my reverie. I opened my eyes and glanced at my sister, wrapped in her gorgeous dress robes, hair twisted into a braid which hung over one shoulder, mouth a perfect red. _

_Droma possessed the gentlest beauty I had ever seen and always envied. 'Just a bunch of boring grown-ups asking if we're married off yet and Uncle Alphard telling scary stories that he always would swear happened to him. ' _

_Droma now leaned close and lowered her voice to a scandalous whisper 'But I'm beginning to suspect that he makes them up.'_

_I smiled a little before she realized she was doing it. I was determined to be a brat all evening for not being allowed to go to the ball 'You're just saying that,' I pouted with a sigh. 'Five months, Droma. In five months, I'll be fifteen and invited, and I'll catch the eye of every man in that ball room before midnight. You just wait and see.'_

'_Oh, I believe you.' Droma murmured, and followed my gaze to the dance floor. Lucius Malfoy had both arms wrapped around Rosaline Zabini . They were dancing and she was laughing her stupid head off. Ugh, so desperate._

_Droma leaned in, wrapping her arms around my shoulder, and confided in a low voice, 'Rosaline has had a bit of food in her teeth all night and it is absolutely revolting.' _

_This time, I allowed myself to laugh with my sister._

I remembered how awful I had felt at fourteen, when Bella and Droma were allowed to go downstairs and I was stuck babysitting the youngest children of the guests. I used to watch from the upstairs balcony, trying to pick out people I knew-but they all blended together from above, swallowed in the swirling mass of colorful robes and dim lighting. The dresses had all seemed so alive, as if _they _were dancing and the wearer was only secondary.

I had a sudden desire to look as pretty as they had looked that eve. I walked into my extravagant bathing chambers and took a long, soothing bath. I then dried my hair, letting it straighten into its natural perfection. I smirked. At least my arrogance had not left me. It always had my back, even in the worst of times. I finished French braiding my hair to the side.

I then picked up an absolutely, lovely night dress. It was made of unicorn hair, and it was an expensive thing. I let it's wealth rest upon my skin for a second and I felt perfect.

My dress was an ice-blue with a sliver sheen and shimmered down to my ankles. It flared slightly out at my waist and showed off my slim figure that so many girls were so envious of. The bodice was held together by lace stringed together in crosses in the middle of my chest and hugged my waist. I put on The Black Family heirloom. A silver chain with an emerald set in the middle around my neck. I left my feet barefoot even though mother would have loved for me to wear sky high heels.

The face that I gazed at was so breathtakingly natural that it hurt. I looked like a winter faerie.

I looked out of my window. It had a perfect view of our ethereal garden. With a start, I saw shining blond hair. The Malfoy prince and the Black princess. A match made in pureblood heaven. With a smile, I walked down the stairs to my fate.

_**Lucius's point of view**_

I stood outside the Black manor. After long thought over the matter, I had decided to have a small chat with Cissa. As I raised my hand to knock on the door, it swung open quickly. Bellatrix Black framed the doorway, glaring at me. I arched an eye-brow. I wasn't going to be intimidated by her. The anger contorted her face and I realized, not for the first time, that she is completely mad. She's lost whatever semblance of sanity she had, and I find myself wondering if she ever had any in the first place. Merlin, these Black sisters.

Yes, I had confronted the Blood-traitor and the Mudblood. It certainly didn't go as I expected and now I had to resort to more desperate measures to save Cissa.

The door was still open but I had no desire to converse with Druella or Cygnus Black. I went straight to the garden, dropping down on the damp grass crossing my legs.

Narcissa walked into the garden, looking like an ethereal fairy. She was dressed in a slivery-blue night dress that reached her ankles. It flared slightly out at her waist and showed off her lithe figure. The bodice was held together by lace stringed together in crosses in the middle of her chest and hugged her waist, showing off her flat stomach. It glimmered with a silver sheen when the light shone on it. She wore a silver chain with an emerald set in the middle around her neck. Her silvery blond hair was done in a neat French braid. Her feet were barefoot and she looked breathtakingly, naturally beautiful. I preferred this natural Cissa over make up covered Cissa any day. She looked like a faerie in winter. It was perfection in it's most obvious form.

'What are you _doing _here?' She breathed

I raised a wry, mocking eyebrow.

'Why, Cissa I'm just sitting. Here, in your garden, where it's lovely and where you are. Did you expect anything else?'

'You were so angry at me. I thought you didn't want me.' she said, her voice cool but her eyes showed a fraction of her real pain.

I stood up and made my way over to her. I grabbed her hands and placed a kiss on both of them 'It is no matter now dearest. Come and sit with me, I must speak with you.'

She nodded and folded herself onto the grass. I was surprised. I had thought that she would be worried of ruining her dress.

'What is it, Lucius? You are making me quite anxious.'

'I payed a visit to your sister.' I said, ignoring her question.

Her eyes gleamed and I knew that she knew who I meant 'Why would you visit Bellatrix?'

I sighed dramatically 'Don't play coy with me, Cissa Black. I visited your other charming sister, Andromeda.'

She nodded, her mouth turning into a tight line 'Aha. May I ask why?'

I smirked 'No, you may not.'

She huffed angrily 'Well, may I ask the reason of this meeting?'

'Well, isn't seeing you reason enough?'

She smirked 'Lovely, but no.'

'Well then, I do need to tell you something… but you must promise not to judge.'

She nodded 'Alright. Now, do tell.'

I took in a deep breath, feeling oddly nervous. I kissed her hand once more, because I had a felling she wouldn't let me once she found out my…news.

'Narcissa.' I said slowly, trying to figure out where to start 'I have been involved in an organization. You have not heard of it but…'

She interrupted me 'I already know of the organization.'

I stopped in the middle of my sentence abruptly. Merlin, what a way to surprise a bloke.

My composure returned to me quickly 'Where have you heard of it? Who has told you?'

She rolled her eyes 'No one has _told _me. I simply heard an interesting conversation.'

I smiled proudly. What a Slytherin. 'Narcissa, that could have proved dangerous for you. My Lord might have been offended…'

'Wait, _your _Lord? Why are you calling him _your _Lord if you do not follow him?'

'Narcissa, that is the point of this conversation. I _do_ follow him, and I am faithful to him. If we are to be involved further in life… you must be as well.'

'I will not become a murderer!' She hissed angrily.

'It is not a matter of becoming a murderer, Narcissa but no I do not expect you nor want you to become a death eater.'

She glared at me 'What a horrid name! _Death eater_? I do not like to think that people call you a _death eater!_ It is so unflattering. How could you do this to us?'

'Narcissa… this is not only for me. It is for both of us, so we can live a comfortable, powerful life together.'

'You think' she said slowly, as if she was barely processing her own words 'That killing innocents, will make you _powerful?_ That by killing people weaker than you, that you are _stronger?' _She stared into my very pupils, seeing the twisted reflection of her tiny face there, not seeing me, not really.

'Narcissa, it is not that simple anymore!' I snapped 'Wrap your mind around this. **I cannot leave.**'

'Well then, why don't you wrap your mind around this.' I sat there dazed, heart beating madly, shattering my chest a bit more with each passing second, throat tight, fingers numb, eyes almost unseeing. I knew what was coming. 'I cannot be with a murder. Goodbye Lucius.' And she got up and flounced away.

I found my voice and I shouted after her _'_Purebloods aren't evil, Narcissa. It isn't that black and white!' I yelled passionately '_Slytherin's _aren't evil. Slytherin's are more interested in their own survival than that of others. I think that rings true for a lot of people, even if they wouldn't admit it. People in general can be selfish. Most just want to paint themselves the hero, even though in battle, they're probably the _first _to run away.'

She stopped, her night dress dancing with the wind. A beautiful, complex dance that I would never know.

'Look at my family, Lucius.' She began, her voice eerily calm 'Striding its way through history, ever worthy, ever powerful, ever pure. Toujours Pur, we can claim it proudly – for we never hesitated, we never compromised. Andromeda and Sirius were burned off the family tapestry with pride. So _much _pride. We dared to cut the line pure, to let our noble blood seep through clean wounds, instead of allowing it to become infected and foul. So yes, I am fairly sure that I know what a true Slytherin Pureblood is.'

For a brief moment, I felt hopeful before her tone shattered all the hope rising in my chest. Narcissa Black continued walking, farther and farther away from my longing grasp.

And that is when I knew that I lost everything.

* * *

~A/N: What a sad ending! I hope you liked the confrontation scene, please review your thoughts on it and the whole chapter. Does anyone want something specific to happen next chapter? Please review and tell me so I can get the next chapter out ASAP! Thanks :)


	11. Old aquantinces and Unknown Strangers

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of it's characters; they all belong to J.K Rowling.**

A/N: Sorry for the long wait, I've just been too worried about school starting and summer ending to write. There have been a bunch of other reasons why I haven't updated but I won't bore any of you with them. **Huge **thanks to Clareabell7, Elekat, and TheSecretWriter-1234 for reviewing the last chapter! Your support through out writing this story has helped me so much! Although I would like to receive more than four reviews per chapter :P Let's try for more, shall we? Hope you like this chapter and please review! Reviews are an authors inspiration!

* * *

The chance before me was too tempting not to take. It was as if Mother and Father had purposely flaunted this opportunity to test my resistance. An empty house, an empty hearth and a full bag of floo powder on the mantle.

For they now knew that it was too risky for me to make unplanned visits without their consent and I too knew I could not do that. However, no one had to know if I decided to make a floo call to my sister. And no one had to know which _particular _sister as well. Slytherin cunning never quite left me.

I pinched a bit of the floo powder, accidentally spilling a lot more on the mantle. I made a mental note to get the house elves to clean it. I threw the floo powder it into the now roaring fire. I had a half mind to call for Andromeda Black but I knew it wasn't the time for petty grudges. I called her name loud and clear before sticking my head in 'Andromeda Tonks!' whilst flinching slightly.

My sisters head appeared, and I involuntarily let out a sigh of relief. 'Cissy?' she questioned with a slightly worried look on her face 'What's going on?'

I smiled sarcastically 'Do I need a reason to talk to my estranged sister?' She laughed but I knew she was now suspicious. Droma always had been like this, always aware of others feelings before they were aware of them herself.

'Pretty words, Cissy but no. If you wanted to enquire about me, you could have sent a letter. It was safer than flooing me so I need to know why you took this risk.'

'I recall that you said you would be a diary, a best friend, a shoulder to cry on and so on.' I hesitated, wondering if the great Narcissa Black really would ask for help 'I hope the offer still stands.'

Droma nodded, yet she still didn't look fazed. 'Of course it still stands. What's been going on?'

I laughed bitterly 'Where to begin?'

'The beginning is always ideal.' Droma said sarcastically, lifting her eye-brow.

Then taking a deep breath, I began to explain the whole tale, from the night that I told Lucius I had been in contact with Droma to last night when he told me he was a _death eater_. Simply saying the name caused violent shudders of disgust to go down my back.

I talked for a fair ten minutes in which the former daughter of Black simply sat and listened, not interrupting.

Finally, when I had talked myself into silence, she spoke. 'That is certainly a complex mess. You know, to be honest, I had always suspected that…' she broke off now. 'Narcissa Black, I hope that you've cast a Silencing Charm around the room or you are more foolish than I thought!'

I rolled my eyes. She really _must _think me incompetent. 'Droma, you and I both know that it is me in danger of being disowned. I know how to cast a simple _Silencio_ and I have done so. Perhaps we could get back to the matter on hand?' I added in a more sickenly sweet tone 'If you don't object, that is.'

She gave me a look so full of annoyance that I flinched. Her mouth tightened, her eyes narrowed and her face flushed. 'I recall a certain blond-haired, blue-eyed girl told me once that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.'

I smiled sweetly 'This girl who you speak of sounds so incredibly wise. And blonde-hair and blue-eyes you say? What a lovely catch!'

Her mouth was now barely visible. I laughed 'Droma, the thing…' At her glare, I corrected myself 'The _fetus_ will not respond well if you continue with this stressful manner that you go about things with.'

She huffed 'The _baby _will be fine, thank you for your concern. Now may I finish giving advice? This problem is giving me stress lines!'

At the mention of I why I was flooing her, I instantly sobered 'Go ahead, Droma.' I said quietly.

Droma took a deep breath 'Mr. Malfoy payed me a little visit the other day.'

I nodded, careful to keep a neutral expression on my face 'Yes, he informed me of that before… before things became difficult.' Everything was said delicately and with a careful tone.

Droma sighed deeply. 'Cissy, I'm not that much older than you are but have seen life for what it truly is. I've lived through getting disowned and being shunned from the society that I've known my whole life. And the reason? All because I chose a happy life filled with love opposed to a stupid, pure-blood marriage devoid of any love. I've also lived in Wizarding society all my life and know full well the rules and stipulations by which it is governed. All I'm saying is think; take a step back and think. Think about your future, about your future _together. _People, most especially pure-bloods, are cruel, and it's only the fittest who learn to swim with the tide. Things aren't black and white, Cissy. There are many different shades of grey in between.'

I leaned forward, thoroughly surprised 'You think I should forget the fact that he's _killed _people? That he's not willing to stop?'

She sighed impatiently 'What I understand is that he wants to take care of you. He thinks that by involving himself with the who are now the strongest people in the Wizarding World, that it'll protect you. Perhaps even impress you.'

'Well it hasn't impressed me and it certainly won't protect me. All it made me do was throw up. He has been causing me extreme amounts of grief and I personally am glad to be rid of him!' I replied hotly.

Droma lowered her voice 'Merlin Narcissa, if I didn't go to school with you, I would swear you were never a Slytherin!'

The surprise was evident in my voice 'What ever do you mean?'

'Merlin, you are even more incompetent than I first assumed!'

'Thanks for the vote of confidence, sister of mine.' I responded dryly.

She rolled her eyes 'How do you think mother and father will react when they find that you've broken off a relationship with Lucius Malfoy? And because of something that they, no doubt, support as well? This has been going on for a long time Cissy, you're just too sheltered. And let's not forget Bellatrix, the crazed psychopath who's obsessed with the Dark Lord!'

For a moment, I was so shocked at myself that I couldn't speak. 'See?' Droma said dryly 'This is exactly what I mean.'

'This isn't happening.' I murmured madly to myself 'This… this can't happen! I won't allow it!'

'Cissy, Cissy' Droma murmured soothingly 'Relax for a moment and hear me out. I can spot love, Cissy and this boy is absolutely besotted by you! Why else would he step foot into a muggle home just to talk to me? Why else would he stay with you even though he knows you're in contact with a blood-traitor? There's only one reason Cissy and I don't need to tell you what you already know.'

I could faintly hear over the rushing that was in my head.

'He's taking orders from a half-blood! I know a bit more about this organization than you all thought and I know he's a half blood. The great Lucius Malfoy has become a water-boy for a mudblood! Malfoy's don't take orders from anyone and now he's resorted to this!'

'Cissy, do you think he even enjoys this? Could you see the disgust on his face when he spoke of this organization or am I delusional? Cissy, as twisted as this sounds, and believe me, I think it is twisted, he is doing this for you.'

I shook my head. My mind was closed and she could say nothing to change that. Her eyes lit up and I warily waited for her to speak.

'Cissy, do you remember when you agreed to clean Bella's room as long as she gifted you her new set of emeralds?'

I scowled at the memory 'That was a mistake. She promised me her set of emeralds and she didn't give them to me! Now what of it?'

'Do you remember why you agreed to that?'

'You loved emeralds.' I recalled fondly 'I wished for you to have them.'

'So you did it for me although it was a mistake? A bit like what Lucius is trying to do for you, correct?'

I nodded mutely barely realizing the words I was saying 'He is so selfless to do something like this for me.'

'Cissy this isn't being selfless. This is selfishness at it's very greatest. You both cannot live without each other. What I am trying to say is choose your grudges. Don't hold a grudge over something like this. ' Droma sighed 'Love is sprung from innocence Cissy. Why do you think Cupid is in the form of a baby? Things, although done with good intentions, do not always work out. I must go now, but keep in touch!' With her final words, Droma removed her head from her fire-place and I was once again alone with my thoughts.

I sat down on the fancy arm chairs, going over the words of wisdom that Droma had told me. The door opened and slammed quickly and I heard the click of high heels against the wood floor, and father's heavier step. I jumped up quickly as they strode into the room and quickly curtsied, much more flustered than my usual aloofness.

'Narcissa?' Mother enquired, her bright eyes going over the sitting room slowly then resting on me 'What are you doing? And why is floo powder spilled onto the mantle? Who have you been flooing?'

Mother's sharp eyes had caught sight of the floo powder before I could. I smiled innocently before waltzing over to them 'Oh never mind that now. Mother, Father how was your outing?'

'Acceptable. However, the Dolohov's are so dull in conversation, don't you think Druella?' It was father who answered. He had successfully diverted all the attention off of me without even meaning to. Mother however had kept her eyes on my face the entire time.

'Yes Cygnus, I found everything rather lacking. Would you care giving me an answer now, Narcissa?'

Father stayed quiet while I opened my mouth and came up with a lie as quick ever 'Oh, I had just spoken with Bella. We are going for a cup of tea in that lovely new tea shop in Diagon Alley. You have heard of it?'

Mother's face immediately donned a disapproving expression 'Your sister is a married woman now Narcissa, you cannot pester her with your petty needs and wishes…'

'Nonsense Druella!' Father's voice broke in, jolly but firm 'A girl needs her sister!'

Mother nodded reluctantly and I knew now was the time to escape 'I will excuse myself then. Mother, Father.' I nodded to each of them before rushing up the stairs quickly.

I donned a simple indigo set of robes. The robes were well fitted but flared out at my waist, giving the whole outfit a princess sort of feel. I wasn't one to wear make-up as I had no need for it. I only used rouge (just a little!) and lengthened my eyelashes (just in case!)

I rushed down the stairs, my hair flying out behind me just like old times with my sisters. Just like old times…

I called out as I opened the door 'Goodbye Mother, Father!' Just as I thought I had made my escape, Mother called after me 'Narcissa. Wait a moment.' I immediately turned and faced who had been my role-model growing up. Mother's eyes swept over me critically before they rested on my face with a slight smile. Just a quick twist of her lips, before they fell back into their neutral expression 'I am worried, Narcissa.'

I tilted my head 'Why so, Mother?'

She sighed 'Narcissa, I have three daughters. I have lost two of them. You are my only remaining, the only one completely faithful to the House of Black. The only one completely faithful to _me._'

Shock was evident on my face. Mother wasn't this open with me... ever. Mother didn't notice and continued 'Narcissa, you are our only hope now. Bellatrix…' she sighed 'Well Bellatrix is Bellatrix. You know of the situation with Andromeda…'

I said stiffly 'The situation can be changed.'

Mother stepped forward 'You think this is in my hands? She hissed 'It _was _not and still _is _not. Do not ever assume that it was!'

Wide eyed, I nodded and Mother continued with a much calmer voice 'Well, I haven't come to argue you with you. I have come to gift you with a necklace.'

At her final words, Mother took out the most stunning necklace I've seen in my very privileged life. Mother came around behind me to slip a gently curving necklace of silver and jade around my throat.

Her hands lingered on my shoulders a moment longer than necessary and she pressed a feather light kiss on the crown of my head. 'Well done, daughter. You have continuously made me proud.'

'Thank you Mother. I hope I shall continue to do so.' I ducked my head to examine the necklace, delighting in how my reflection gleamed back at me from the silver and green; fingering the mother of pearl narcissi that hung from it, before I nodded to Mother and turned for the door.

I rushed into the light of the slowly setting sun, feeling as if my whole life was on the verge of bursting into flames, just like the huge ball of fire before me.

Leaving all my problems behind me, even though it was for less than a second, even though they would return full force to me was comforting. It felt good to worriless. I apparated away with a faint _pop_.

I arrived in Diagon Alley, making eye contact with someone I had no desire to converse with. Alecto Carrow was smirking at me with her piggy face, her barely there eyes nearly popping out. I truly had no reason for going to Diagon Alley and I wished I had not gone now!

Alecto and Amycus Carrow absolutely loathed the Black family. It seems that almost every Black this generation had fought or offended the Carrow siblings. Sirius had punched Amycus in the nose after he had threatened Droma rather brutishly. I had told Alecto that she reminded me of a pig that could walk. Bella backed me up saying that both of them smelled like mildew

Amycus Carrow had been enamored by me, However, I wasn't attracted to squat and lumpy men, with lopsided leers. Don't forget the doughy, pallid face. With an extremely upturned nose that seemed squashed and small, greedy eyes, Alecto and Amycus Carrow had a scary resemblance to pigs. Rather _overweight _pigs.

Every old pure-blood family had a Line of Trait. Theses traits should date back for centuries. The Black's had their aristocratic nose. The Malfoy's, their grey eyes. The Carrow's seemed to have their…_unfortunate_ features as their trait.

So it would be understandable why I was less than pleased when I caught sight of her.

She hobbled over, baring her teeth and what I supposed she thought was a smile. Her slimy teeth were on display before me and I had no doubt that her hygiene was not a high priority on her list of things to do. The Carrow twins reminded me of two little hogs, with the disposition to match. When I'd mentioned this to Bella, my sister took to snorting quietly whenever one of them passed by. That's all I could think of now, looking at Alecto with her squished nose and fat cheeks.

'Narcissa Black!' She screeched, spittle flying from her mouth 'What a… _pleasant _surprise!'

I smiled faintly, almost weak with horror 'Yes, pleasant indeed. What brings you to Diagon Alley?'

She smiled wickedly, and she looked as if she truly wished to kill me. I imagined myself as a perfectly breakable princess and Alecto as the lion that stalked me in hopes of food. 'Oh, this and that. What have _you_ been doing lately?' Her eyes gleamed with interest and I tried to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach. 'Oh, I suppose everything's been a mess, what with that blood traitor of a sister of yours running off and marrying a mudblood.'

I kept my face perfectly neutral but I knew my eyes had darkened in colour, the only way to indicate how truly angry I was 'I would thank you not to mention such things in my presence.' I said stiffly.

'Oh Narcissa dear, it wasn't your fault! Although, it does seem you're suffering the consequences…' She trailed off, looking determinedly at my face.

'What ever do you mean?' I asked her, tilting my head to the side and pasting a slightly confused smile on my face. The smile said everything that I could not; you are an idiot, please stop talking, my intelligence is dropping in your presence!

Regardless of the lengthy speech my smile told her she continued 'Well darling, you know I only have your best interests at heart…' I snorted internally. If she had my best interests at heart, then my name wasn't Narcissa Rosaline Black! 'But if you cannot get Lucius Malfoy to propose, then how will you be married off! There have been numerous rumors that he's been seen in the outskirts of Hogsmede!'

'Oh my dear, I've only just graduated from Hogwarts.' I ignored the feeling of sickness threatening to overtake me. Instead, I laughed, a perfect sound that reminded me of bells 'You however…' I leaned forward and lowered my voice, while making sure a look of pity was pasted on my face 'Well, you are getting rather old… Do you have any intentions of marrying or will you continue borrowing other's husband's?'

Her face paled in colour I noted with satisfaction. Her mouth continuously opened and closed, resembling a fish. _Yes that will teach you no mess with me! '_Now, I best be off but this has been a rather enlightening conversation and I am sure that we understand each other better now, correct?' I walked off listening to the murmurs around me.

One lady whispered 'Do you think what she said is true?' As I passed, I turned my head and casually said back, ignoring her shocked expression 'Oh, ask your husband.'

When I was out of public view, I dropped my carefully placed expression and glared darkly at everything and everyone.

'Alecto Carrow is a cow. She decided to gift me with a shower of saliva and her brother is no better!' I muttered angrily.

A woman with a mass of carefully arranged hazel curls stood in front of me and chirped 'Oh I completely agree. Her brother is even worse, might I say! ' She shuddered. 'And he has the face of a pig,' The lady added. 'I almost mistook her for the entrée at a Christmas party years ago!'

I looked at her carefully. She was no one I recognized. First impressions always were monumental though so I nodded, keeping my carefully arranged mask on my face. Her hair was elaborately arranged, appearing a mess but at a closer glance, anyone with a decent eye could see the work put into it. Her eyes were a deep violet colour, which frightened me but once I got over the shock, the colour was pretty. Her robes were elegant and simple yet it was obvious good money was put into them. Her make-up was applied with a light hand, simple eye-liner and rouge.

After carefully analyzing her, I replied 'Narcissa Black. And yes, they rather do have a certain lack of taste.

'Ah Narcissa Black. I know of certain people who are very interested in you!'

I arched an eye brow 'Really now?' I drawled 'And who may they be?'

She shrugged and I repressed a shudder. Shrugging was a terrible habit 'Oh, just old family members. Nothing to worry yourself about.'

'Quite the contrary. If certain beings are interested in me, I should very well think that I should be aware of who they are.' I said haughtily, glancing scornfully down my nose at the young woman.

'Like I said, nothing to worry about! Trust me, it really is nothing.' This woman's eyes were too bright with interest. This is certainly something to be suspicious over…

'And who might you be?' I drawled politely albeit lazily, my eye brow arched.

The woman stuck her hand out, with a bright smile. 'Celia Antoinette. Sister of the late Celestia Malfoy.'

* * *

A/N~ Whoa, cliffhanger! Sorry for cutting off so quickly but I promise an update super soon if I get enough encouragement *cough, reviews, cough*

Please tell me what you thought of this chapter and I hope you liked it!

~Nuna xx


	12. Dangerous Regrets

**Dangerous Regrets**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of it's characters; they all belong to J.K Rowling.**

* * *

**A/N: **Hello everyone! I am so, so sorry for my super late update! I know it is unforgivable but I thought if I updated more than one chapter, than maybe you guys could forgive me. School has been hectic and this chapter has been difficult to write because there were so many things I wanted to include in it. I wanted to upload a chapter on my birthday (September 28) but I was VERY late… Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter even though it took forever to get out. But thank you so much to **SnowflakeBeautiful **for her suggestions for this chapter! I got this chapter out faster than I expected with her encouragement! Any reviews/comments are appreciated :)

* * *

_**Narcissa's point of view**_

Celia Antoinette continues speaking and for a minute I am totally, terrifyingly thrown. I do not know whether to excuse myself or stay, whether to play coy or to take some risks to push the situation further – I do not know myself and my power over this, do not know the way I appear, and faintly suspect that my subtle games might not be sufficient to dismiss the knowing look in her bright eyes.

'Well, good day, Narcissa Black.' she said, and her voice sounded collected and definite. Sure around my name, sure over the fact that I would do exactly as she said, more sure than I was. I had wanted to reply with confidence and grace. My control was slipping, no – my control has slipped, and with horror I found that I, for once had nothing to say.

'Good day' I croaked. Then, as I turn on my heel and stalk off, realizing that this mysterious woman had left me with more to contemplate than I had first thought.

'Don't forget what I told you, Narcissa Black!' She called to my back 'It may have been tough to hear, and I didn't sugar-coat it but it's the nicest warning you'll get. The _only _warning you'll get.'

As I walked away, I caught sight of my face in a piece of broken glass. My make-up was damaged, my face stricken. Carefully, I wiped my cheeks until they were clean and cold again, flawlessly white.

_**Lucius's point of view**_

The bottle of fire-whisky in my hand was nearly empty but I still swung it back. The burn was satisfying, rushing through my throat.

Sometimes in the middle of the night, the pain returns, searing and livid like a blade renting my flesh apart. The brand on my arm burns like fire, blazing through skin and flesh and bone until only the blistering memory remains emblazoned in my mind, a stark reminder of who I serve and who I belong to. Reminding me of what I gave up, and who I gave up. It's funny how blinding pain can clarify your thoughts, filtering out everything except helpless devotion, bleeding and glory was all that I saw as I dropped to my knees in front of him, unknowing and eager, a boy of sixteen.

Pledging an allegiance only to be severed in the violence of death. My arm, a sacrifice of living flesh, warm and pulsing, and I bowed my head and handed him my soul. And I didn't I still hear my own voice, shrieking endlessly, and I wake up drenched in sweat with the echo of my scream sounding in a chasm of darkness. And I pinch myself and think, _no regrets._

But I learned. I learned that pride and pain wove themselves in an inextricable tangle, that the only way I could prove my loyalty was through my suffering. I barely remember the image of your smile, because the only time you smile at me is when I am broken and bleeding or when I am doing your bidding. Delirium spinning through my ravaged mind; and dimly through the blood and anguish and tears I see your lips curl upward. Only then, momentarily, are you satisfied.

I tried. I tried so hard.

I made myself forget the frequent pain you inflicted upon me, and I pushed myself to the limit, trying to be everything you expected me to be, everything that I was secretly afraid I might never live up to, or even live to see the fulfillment of. I tried so very hard, doing everything in my capacity, learning evil and ruthlessness like a refined art, until I was one of your most accomplished servants, until I was the very it was never enough.

She deserved more than this. Cissa deserved more than a man who could never be by her side, who would spend his days and nights slaving for someone else. She deserved love, untainted, and reserved for her.

And she made me regret. She was the only one who voiced her disgust, put everything I could not say into words.

And regret is a dangerous thing, because it opens up hope, and wistfulness, and these sentiments eat away a person like acid on an open wound. I faltered then, but managed to catch myself in time and force my feelings back into the deepest recesses of my heart, forsaken but not forgotten. It's too I learned the mockery of loyalty, tied up with the bitterness of faith departed.

I am a keen learner, and the dark path of life teaches lessons such as this one. I learned how to use my gift of charm to manipulate and control people weaker than myself, to get what I want when I want it. But the truth be told, what I seek is never what _I_ want, but the will of my master. My thoughts run parallel to his, and what I sought was forgotten in my eagerness to please him.

On closer examination, selfishness isn't quite an apt description. One cannot be selfish when he no longer owns himself.

I've almost forgotten the feeling of belonging to myself; it's such a distant, far-removed concept. But in random, isolated moments that flit by like a stab of brilliant light, moments like the first time I met her, the first time I kissed her. I can remember it faintly, like intangible strains of a forgotten childhood song, familiar and heartbreakingly beautiful.

I wielded my wand like a vicious whip, and the screams and pleas met my ears with grim satisfaction. The huddled figure on the floor was shaking violently as the anguish of Cruciatus ripped through every nerve of his, and he writhed and thrashed, begging for mercy, begging me to stop.

I smiled pitilessly, finding warped comfort in the infliction of an agony that I had been subject to countless times before, with much greater intensity. The ragged sobs were like tuneless music to my ears, invoking bitterness as I remembered my own suffering, my own screams, and all I want to do is hurt him more.

I raise my wand and hissed the words, my vision remaining clear even as my mind blurs, and the scream that fills the room are the screams of a dying man. They tore from his soul, another nameless subject of my long-harbored wrath as it breaks to the surface in a wave of terror and pain and fear, both his and and screams invade my consciousness, waking nightmares smeared in blood and the stench of terror.

The brand on my arm throbs like pulses of live electricity, static evil sparking to life on my flesh. The room is deathly quiet, vibrations of withheld emotion and unasked questions rippling through the tense air.

Don't ask. There is no answer. And there will never be. I had no choice, Cissa. And neither do you.

'I'm sorry.' her eyes said what she was too proud to. Fear sparked her icy eyes yet she held firm in her decision.

And I'm sorry too. I can make no promises, except the promise that I will try. Because this moment hasn't yet choked off in blood, and I won't let it die in 's not too late, Cissa.

Did she know how huge my pain was- no, is? Did she know how much every second without her was like a knife, sharper than any Cruciatus My Lord could place on me? I concluded that she did not, for even she was not cruel enough to leave me in my misery. But I would stay silent, for my fear of My Lord was larger than my love for her.

_**Narcissa's point of view**_

Time passes and during that time many things happen. Some things are happy, others are filled with sorrow. It all depends on your mood. I was not in the mood.

Now was not the day for Bella to come, drag me out of my depression and dress me up. And the reason? She wished to go to Diagon Alley for some _tea_. The irony was not lost on me.

'Narcissa' Bella snapped 'Get that pout off your face. I'm not mother. I will not tolerate it.'

Glaring at her, I quirked a quick, fake smile at her. Nothing of meaning and she knew that for she snarled. Rolling my eyes, I followed her out of my lonely paradise.

As we apparated to _The Tea Pot_, I looked at my sisters' face. Her mouth was set in a firm line and her eyes were two hard chips of onyx. I raised my eye-brow slightly, not caring enough to find out the reason behind her anxiety.

'Bella, dearest if you continue on in this manner, our little outing won't prove to be much fun.' I drawled loudly, with a slight smirk on my face.

She growled something under her breath and my smirk widened. She had always never know how to act dignified. She spun around to face me, her red lips bared and her black curls flying out behind her. In that moment, she truly looked feral. A moment later, her breathing evened and she looked calm. I knew that I should have been thankful as anybody else would have been but I was not. A spat with my somewhat mad elder sister was just the thing I needed at the moment.

'Cissy, please attempt to stop being such a brat, It might be hard, but surely possible.' Bella said condescendingly with a sugary sweet smile. I arched an eye-brow and replied in the same tone 'Ah, Bella quite a lot to ask for. For I find myself unwilling to change for anyone, even if it be my… loving older sister.' She could _play _the pure-blood princess but in truth, I _was _the pure-blood princess.

Bella simply glowered and huffed in agitation 'Merlin, Cissy. If you're going to be this way the whole day, I'll Avada you.'

I faked shock and threw my hand to my chest 'Bella! How horrid! Imagine what mother would say!' Noticing the barely concealed fury, I sighed 'What was it you wanted anyways?'

'I wanted to speak to you about some of your more… recent mistakes.' Bella replied with a steely look in her eyes. At that moment, I understood why she invited me out for tea. And I also understood that she had absolutely no intention of backing down.

'Aha.' I said crisply 'Well, you might think that my personal life is any of your business but it is not and I urge you to keep your nose out of it. I also think it is odd that Lucius felt it wise to share with you considering' I paused slightly, wondering if I should continue 'Well, considering he basically hates you.'

'Who said he told me anything? My master simply thought that everyone should know the reason behind Lucius's pouting. While I am thrilled to hear you've ended it with that idiot, I am less pleased to hear the reason why.' Her eyes were flashing, whilst her tone was sharp 'Do you not agree with the extermination of Mudblood's?'

I laughed, not one to be intimidated even though I now felt sick to my stomach 'Ah, I had thought that mother and father taught us better' placing a sympathetic hand on her shoulder, I continued 'Andromeda, you and I have all been taught to leave the killing to men and not to voice our opinions clearly on dangerous matters. Do you not remember?'

Bella flushed and hissed, conscious as I that we were in public 'Do not speak that blood-traitors name in my presence! Are you mad, Narcissa? What has happened to you? Perhaps Mother and Father have raised us to do so, but did you actually expect me to listen to them? I am a married woman!'

'Not quite mad Bella, I think that is you.' I answered daintily, patting my mouth delicately with my white handkerchief all the while ignoring everything she said. I watched with curiosity as her mouth opened furiously, shut and then turned up in glee. She raised her hand and for a moment, I thought she was going to strike me. However, she beckoned to some unknown person behind me. Her eyes twinkled and danced and I felt inclined to ask her what exactly was so exciting to her 'Oh, nothing at all Cissy. Just wait and see.' She said with a voice that could barely keep from shaking in happiness.

'Narcissa, Bellatrix. What a lovely surprise.' His smooth, arrogant voice rang through the silent tea-shop, showing none of the supposed sadness that Bella had described. I gulped and allowed my eyes to show all the doubt and fear I had been bottling up for the past few days.

Blinking, I turned around with determination, my lips firmly set and my eyes slightly scornful. I faltered immediately and my mind began racing to moment I set eyes on Lucius and his… acquaintance.

The girl on his arm was simple in looks perhaps charming. She had none of the striking great looks that was apparent in my sisters and I, but she was… _cute_. Her smooth, ebony hair was short, under her chin. Completely different to my long locks. She was tall, taller than my slight frame and her dark eyes framed with eyelashes peered at me with the curiosity of a child. We were opposites. Day and night. Perhaps that was why Lucius sought her… friendship. I did not trust myself to think of them as more.

'Lucius. I wish I could say this is a pleasure but it is not. Oh, I'm sorry' Bella smiled wickedly at me 'I forget my manners. Whom might this be?'

Lucius face was completely smooth, his eyes hard yet his voice courteous 'Ah, this is Vera Wedley. The daughter of a business partner of Father's.'

Bella nodded, as if she cared about this Vera. However, I knew she only wished to know why she was with Lucius and she wished to know in front of me 'Aha. But forgive me, I have no idea why she is with _you_.'

Lucius sneered 'Bella, your bluntness never fails to shock me. I wished to escort her here for a cup of tea. We will be awaiting our father's so they than can escort her to Wedley Estates.'

As he spoke, I felt myself release a breath quietly 'How charming.' I said coolly, glancing over the girl with barely concealed scorn, ignoring Lucius's shocked face 'I don't believe we've met. Narcissa Black.' I said to Vera, and wrinkling my nose slightly I had no reason to feel shame, after all. No matter who she was seen with in public, this girl was a Wedley and I was a Black. I would not forget the many embarrassing incidents that involved her grand-father.

She glanced at me, then back to my hand before thrusting her hand in my face, I looked at it for a long time, simply contemplating shaking her hand and maybe wanting to cause her a bit of anxiety. I placed my hand delicately in hers, ever the lady. I found my hand being jerked up and down by her enthusiastic shaking, 'Vera Wedley.' She simpered, in a girly tone that made me wince 'A pleasure to meet you, Narcissa.' I winced at her familiarity and her firm grip 'Yes, a pleasure indeed.' I murmured.

Turning to Bella, the girl offered her hand. Bella looked at the proffered hand and laughed loudly. Ignoring the hand still hanging there, Bella looked at her surprised face 'Bellatrix Black. You'll know me, of course but I have no idea who you are' Bella paused and placed a finger to her chin 'Aha, now I know! I heard your surname quite a few times involving the little Galleon Incidence as I like to call it. Your grandfather was my source of my amusement for quite a long time.' Bella cackled gleefully at the girl's shocked expression 'Well, this has been fun Lucius but I think it high time you excuse yourself. Don't you agree?'

Lucius had a some-what amused expression on his face during the whole encounter as if he too was remembering Zachary Wedley. His eyes snapped to Bella's and he nodded 'Indeed. Narcissa, Bella. A pleasure as always.' he said sarcastically before turning and escorting his Wedley harlot to a table far away. As he walked away, I was ashamed to say that I had been staring at the back of his head, hoping he would turn around and capture my eye.

He didn't disappoint. His silvery grey eyes met my ice blue ones and he stared long and hard into them. I gazed back just as defiantly, yet my mask was firmly in place. As was his. Nodding slightly, as if giving me permission to look away he broke my gaze and sat down.

I sighed and turned in my seat forgetting myself as I slumped and closed my eyes in exhaustion. I was tired, tired of these mind-games, of these fake smiles. Of course, Bella cleared her throat 'Now, Cissy dear I thought you were supposed to be the perfect one?' Bella sneered at me. Immediately I sat in perfect posture, with a demure half smile lighting my face 'Of course.' I replied smoothly, as if I wasn't mentally tired of these secretive half-smiles and always plotting minds.

Bella faltered, seeming to finally realize that by inviting Lucius over, she had intended to hurt me. The cruel Lestrange was gone and my doting, older sister of Black re-appeared. 'Cissy…' but she stops, for she knows that nothing that she could possibly say could make this better 'Let's go.'

I nod but as I look at her, I gasp, surprise briefly stealing my breath. For Droma's eyes are staring thoughtfully at me, but the face, smooth and reflective, is Bellatrix.

I didn't look at her again as we apparated away.

* * *

The park in Muggle England was quiet, apart from the occasional shriek of laughter from the children playing everywhere.

A little girl spun and twirled on the spot, her hair flying around her face, hand firmly grasping that of her sisters'. Their parents beamed at the scene, pride oozing out from the sound of their loud voices.

Probably Mudbloods. No pure-blood witch or wizard could be so care-free, so blissfully innocent.

I crossed my arms and sighed wistfully, wishing for the same innocence that was robbed of me so many years ago. I wish I could twirl, twirl happily and leave my mind and my worries on the ground while my soul was spinning up in circles. I barely noticed the odd looks being shot towards me as I continued to circle the park, the yellow beams of the dying sun thrown everywhere.

A girl, the same girl who had been dancing with her sister in the autumn leaves ran up to me. She was holding a dandelion and grinning an empty-toothed grin, her chubby cheeks flushed. I looked at her, the brown curls tumbling down her back and her eyes dancing happily, watching mine while she extended the weed towards me. I lowered myself on the ground, so that I was eye-level with her and took her offering 'Thank you.' my voice, a soft whisper as I watched the girl nod and run away. I stood slowly, not minding the grass stains on my robes and clutched the dandelion to me, wistful thoughts of innocence and happiness running through my mind. A mixed feeling of sadness and longing for the simple past ran through me.

What had inspired the girl to approach me, bitter and cold Narcissa Black? I continued walking, too surprised and nostalgic to think much of where I was heading.

My body hit a tall, warm shape, the shock knocking the breath out of me. I stumble, and fingers close around my wrist, holding tightly onto me as a smooth voice speaks 'My apologies, yet I would thank you to keep a better eye on your surroundings.'

And I looked up into the grey eyes of Lucius Malfoy.

I gasp, cheeks flaming and lungs tightening all of a sudden, flooded by surprise and quite a few memories, not all of them pleasant. He's smirking edgily and staring down at me without a word.

'Indeed' was my smooth reply. I straightened up and stepped out of his grasp 'Hadn't you better go back to _Vera_?' I said her name with a sneer.

He glares at me as though in warning yet I was never one to heed a warning.

'She is a Wedley and a daughter of my father's business partner. I have delivered her to her home and it would be inappropriate to join them.' His voice was stiff, as though he had tired of telling this story.

'But it didn't always stop you.' I amend matter-of-factly. His eye-brow arched slightly. 'Do you trust me?' His voice was hard yet his eyes were searching mine.

My voice was equally soft as I replied 'Not in the slightest.'

'Well unfortunately for you, you're going to have to.'

* * *

**A/N: **Well? Did the chapter live up to everyone's expectations? I certainly hope so! Please note that this month long delay will not happen again. If I ever feel that it's been too long without an update, I will get up and force a chapter out of myself! Thanks again and any comments/reviews are very much appreciated :)


	13. One More Night

**One More Night**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its' characters; they are all the property of J.K Rowling. **

New chapter! Hope you guys like it :) Oh, and the title is from Maroon 5's new song.

I would also appreciate more reviews and comments. Please remember that I want to improve in my writing so any comments are very important to me. Also, keep in mind that this is my first chaptered story so I am still finding my way with this. What sort of things do you people want to see? More drama or angst? Lucius and Narcissa fights? I don't know so please tell me. I am writing this to both let out my creativity and for your enjoyment. It defeats the purpose if what I am writing is not enjoyable.

Any PMs and reviews are greatly appreciated. Thanks and please enjoy the chapter.

* * *

_I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me._

_There's a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree, I bruise easily; can't scratch the surface without moving me._

_Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily_

_Anyone who can touch you, can hurt you or heal you. Anyone who can reach can love you or leave you_

_So be gentle, so be gentle, so be gentle_

_**Narcissa's point of view**_

I moved my arms quicker and quicker in the cold water. I was wearing my bathing suit- a gift compliments of Uncle Alphard, along with a pair of goggles. He loved swimming, and thought I shared his passion. I did not, but it was pleasant nonetheless.

I floated on my back in the pond, not far from our Manor, with my silvery hair trailing with me. I looked into the sky, with trees looming over me. Birds were singing and flying, as far as they wanted.

I wish I were a bird. To fly far, far away. With my sister, my beloved Droma. And with Lucius. We could forget our worries and be happy. Be happy together.

Nevertheless, we were not. Sadly, I had to go and get dressed, and leave my little slice of paradise. Standing, I cast protective charms around the little area that I was standing in. I dressed quickly and set off, not before casting drying spells on my hair and body.

As I entered the Manor, one of the house-elves saw me. With widened eyes, it froze in place, simply looking at me. I lifted my hand and gently placed my finger against my mouth. It nodded and left quickly.

'You simply **must **stop this! As the head of this family, I command you!'

Arcturus Blacks' raised voice made itself known. I stopped, and slowly edged close, peeking into the slightly open parlour. What was there made me gasp quietly.

The majority of the Black family was gathered, all centred around Bellatrix and the patriarch of our family. Bellatrix was shouting passionately, her cries managing to cover Aunt Walburga's, which was impressive to say the least.

The young witch whirled towards them, cheeks flaming, eyes blazing, and I cringed back, shocked by the madness dilating my sibling's retinas.

'I am married! My private affairs are none of your concern! And as long as I belong to the Lestrange family, you have no right to pry!'

'Now-' Aunt Walburga started loudly 'You would do well to remember where and who you were raised. You are a Black through and through, much to my displeasure, and you will act like it!'

There was the Aunt Walburga that I knew. I was fairly sure that she was simply _dying _to get those words out. I crept closer, pushing my ear against the door. A quite foolish mistake on my part, as I had forgotten that the door was slightly ajar. I fell in, and felt the elders' hot gaze on my crimson face.

My hands were slightly scraped, yet I stood quickly with my back straight. Mother was staring at me in shock, before her face closed off.

Aunt Walburga strode forward and seized my arm 'The two of you don't know your place- I have to confess, I am quite appalled.'

Pollux Black, in the meanwhile, had been gazing at me thoughtfully. He raised one hand 'Walburga, wait a moment. Perhaps having Narcissa here could help _persuade_ Bellatrix.'

Bellatrix snarled 'Do not try and use my sister to try and convince me! It will not work; my mind is set and I am in this for life.'

They had found out then. This problem was more sever than I had first thought. I felt frozen, like a statue. 'What-what are you speaking of?' My voice was pathetically small and weak. .

Mother spoke up, her face as pale as bone 'No. I do not want Narcissa to hear of such monstrosities. She at least does not need to be tarnished. Her innocence must be reserved.'

'Which monstrosities are you speaking?' Bellatrix screeched 'I am fighting for my blood, my breeding, my **ancestry**! I am proving to all of you that I am worth more than marriage alone!'

Bellatrix (I could not call her Bella, while she was like this) turned towards me now and glared. I lowered my eyes immediately 'What do you think of this, Narcissa?'

Therefore, I was Narcissa now. I opened my mouth and uncertainly stuttered 'Think about what?'

Bellatrix laughed loudly, making me wince 'Oh I love you Cissy.' She turned towards the Elders 'Now, instead of pestering me, why don't you focus on protecting our innocent little princess' ears?'

She strode out, and I broke out of my reverie. I ripped myself from Aunt Walburga's now slack grasp and chased after her.

'Don't leave me.' I begged her, my pride thrown out the window.

'I'm not leaving you' she murmured 'I'll never leave you.'

'You're leaving me now, Bella. Don't do this, whatever you're doing.'

Her gaze was keen now 'So, you do not agree with me?'

'Bella, the idea is noble. Defending the supremacy of the pureblooded is wonderful, yet the method is wrong. It is even worse, because you are doing it. You are a lady, of Black breeding. Let the men do… whatever it is they're doing. But you- you know better.'

'Do I?' Bella asked me.

I nodded, confused but relieved she was willing to listen 'Of course you do. This is not you-'

'Do not tell me who you think I am! You don't know me at all, Narcissa! Not one bit!'

I shrunk back 'Bella-' I whimpered 'We love you the way you are.'

'So love me this way.' Her words rung with a sense of finality before she turned and walked away into the cold winter air.

After that, we did not see Bellatrix in over two weeks. Not one word of her.

**oOo**

A wave of perfume floated around the lounge briefly, and Bellatrix Lestrange walked in. My back was ramrod straight as I sipped at the burning tea in my cup. As I looked over my teacup, I noticed mother glaring at Bella who's heels clicked with a striking, slightly defiant sound against the marble floors.

I breathed in deeply through my nose. I rubbed my wrists together brushed my fingers over the perfectly smooth bun I had done my hair in. I flexed and then relaxed my pale hands before standing up 'Hello Bella. Lovely of you to join us. I shall have Elfie fetch you a cup of tea.' Then, I snapped my still shaking hands and allowed the house-elf to appear. 'Elfie' I said coldly 'Fetch Mistress Lestrange tea.'

It bowed before leaving. Bellatrix, in the meanwhile had been glaring over our lounge scornfully not yet sitting. My laughter echoed around the room, as light as a bell, not indicating how stressed I was over the last time we had met 'Forgive my manners. Have a seat.' I said before sweeping towards my seat, my robes floating behind me grandly.

She cackled, not yet moving from her spot 'And I had thought that mother was the woman of the house! Things certainly do change quickly around here!'

Mother slammed her teacup down. She stood up, 'Yes, well I apologize for Narcissa being a perfect hostess! Would you have wanted her to follow in your brilliant footsteps?' Mother continued ranting, her hair flying around madly, not noticing how Bella's grin widened. She had unhinged 'I for one, am glad I can be proud of at least one daughter!' Her voice was shrill and this was the first time I'd noticed the resemblance Bella had to mother.

Bella's eyes flashed, before she laughed again. It was a bitter sound, ruining the name of a laugh 'Narcissa this, Narcissa that. Do you think I care? Or that I was every interested in being a daughter you could be proud of?'

Tension ran high as Bella finished uttering her last word. Mother breathed through her nose slowly, and pinched the bridge of her nose. The momentary resemblance was gone, like a forgotten dream. None of her previous agitation was present in her cool eyes now 'But of course not. No matter. Take a seat.' Mother then sat down in her seat and waved toward the available chairs nonchalantly with untouched elegance. I only hoped I could be so perfectly calm. To have ever-flawless, ever-reassuring elegance… The thought was lovely.

The house-elf re-appearing broke the silence that rested between us for a moment. I spent the remaining time gazing into my tea as if it held the secrets of the world, while Bella and mother glared at each other. What a family gathering.

An owl glided in through the open windows. It landed on the back of my chair and gave an affectionate nip to my ear. I yelped, but upon closer look, I noticed the owl was familiar. The Malfoy's were contacting the Black's.

I began to reach for the letter when Mother's cool voice stopped me from proceeding 'I believe the letter is addressed to your father and I, Narcissa.'

'Forgive me, Mother. I had simply assumed…'

'I do not care what you assumed.' Mother's sharp voice reprimanded me, painfully reminding me not to speak out of turn 'Hand me the letter.'

Mothers' outburst was proof of how moody she could be.

Bella looked slightly angry, but I shook my head. She nodded in compliance but still looked unhappy. She had never been one to listen to others. How could she call a man 'Master', no matter whom the man may be?

'We have an invitation to the Malfoy's for dinner this evening. We must all attend; the invitation was extended to all of us.' Mothers' voice was cool, detached- to her, there was no reason for complaint.

'Yes,' Bella said sarcastically 'Because I've always just _adored_ the Malfoy's.'

'It does not matter whether you _adore_ them or not. You will leave a good impression on them. Do not ruin our chances with them Bellatrix. The ladies of society are waiting for us to make a mistake. '

'The vultures are waiting, ready to strike.' Bella sang sardonically.

Mother's expression didn't change. It remained as cool and detached as always 'Indeed.'

**oOo**

Hours passed- slowly, barely dragging by. They went by so slowly, it was almost as of they were mocking me. I spent the day curling and re-curling my hair. Painting and re-painting my face with expensive makeup. Trying on dress after dress after dress… Until mother came in and made my decision for me.

She went to my extensive wardrobe and picked up simple dress-robes. Nodding at it, she murmured 'For innocence,' and left it hanging on the handle.

The white dress robes I was to wear were ironic. Not blue, like my eyes. Nor red, like my lips. No, white was the perfect colour to describe me. White was marble, cold and unyielding. White was for the soulless society and forsaken dreams. On the other hand, in Mother's eyes, for innocence. White was a colour of many meanings.

Finally, the time had come.

We went down the staircase in a silent procession. Mother went down first, with Bellatrix following, and then me. I continued my way down slowly, step after step, willing everything to progress smoothly today.

Father nodded when he saw all of us, his eyes lingering on Bella sadly. He sighed and said 'Well, the night isn't getting any younger.' Mother scowled, and Bella and I grinned at each other.

We apparated into the young night, the dark sky were welcoming. It was shielding us, protecting us. I hoped everything would be perfect.

After arriving, we turned right, into a wide driveway that led off the lane. The high hedge curved with us, running off into the distance beyond the pair of impressive wrought-iron gates barring our way. They slowly swung open and we continued.

White peacocks were strutting around, and Father muttered '_Cocky_.'

The double doors were our last obstacle before reaching. I took a deep breath, while Father stepped up on banged on the door with a brass knocker. It swung open and Abraxas strode towards us with his arms open.

'Cygnus, Druella. How lovely of you to join us.' He then proceeded to kiss Mothers hand. Bellatrix stepped forward and curtsied rather quickly. As she rose, I stepped forward and did the same.

We stepped into the Entrance Hall, where there were several families. Elite families, prestigious of course. Abraxas Malfoy would have no less.

Greetings were exchanges, false smiles as well. Well-wishes were thrown across the room, and the lies of it all was visible. Visible in my Mother's tense shoulders and Perenelle Bulstrode's keen eye.

I found it acceptable to glide up to Bella, who was conversing with Dolohov fiercely. I was her sister, after all. I simply wished to join in the riveting conversation.

He caught my eye behind her, and with a low undistinguishable hiss, she turned around. Her eye caught mine, and I could her thoughts warring. She stalked towards me and gripped my arm, in the same place that Aunt Walburga had. I winced, and she loosened her grip.

Two young witches had already escorted the Parkinsons' to the ballroom, and another young, unremarkable witch was in the process of leading the Blacks' in the same direction. A quarter past eight; many more guests were yet to come.

I was last to follow, when I heard a low greeting 'Good evening, Miss Black.'

I turned towards my family who were still slowly walking away. Mother caught my eye and shot a fierce glare. I turned around 'Good evening, Mister Malfoy. This is a lovely gathering.'

'Indeed. I am glad everything is to your liking.' He murmured with a small nod.

I nodded my head as well, and was about to make my dignified exit when I spotted a familiar head of hair. I realized, with a sick lurch of my stomach, who it was.

Lucius interrupted my reverie my offering his arm to escort me. I looked at the arm proffered to me but smirked at the politely confused face. He could have _Vera's _arm. Turning on my heel, I decided that Evan Rosier was worthier.

'_You only wish to make him jealous,' _the sane part of my head spoke before I rebelliously pushed it back. I continued the oddly long walk to Evan who looked slightly surprised every second I continued walking towards _him_.

'Hello Cissy.' he drawled, coldly, sarcastically… My pet name sounded soft and wry upon his sharp tongue and I shivered before straightening up and glaring into his eyes slightly. I was a Black, nothing to be ashamed of. He looked at the firm set of my lips with a slight smirk before offering me his arm, as proper as any gentleman.

Instinctively, I claimed his arm as any lady would, proper and possessive. His eyes lightly traced my body with definite fondness and I sharply reminded myself that this was Evan. Evan, whom I had always looked up to. Evan, who I used to play with underneath the big Birch tree. `Evan, who was Droma's ex-fiancé. I shivered.

He looked at me knowingly, before winking. I blushed crimson, like a naive thing, and stared at the floor. He laughed quietly.

Impulsively, I squeezed my fingers around his arm tighter knowing without looking that Lucius's eyes were glaring daggers at the back of my delicate pale neck. I shivered, a distant feeling before Evan began to escort me to the dining room.

_This isn't like me…_ I thought. Attempting to make him jealous was petty and silly. But I would not bow down. I was not some silly, love struck girl after all. I was a lady. ..

But who was I, really? Lucius would say I was his Cissa. Pure-bloods would say I was Narcissa, the last Black maiden. Mudbloods' would say I was Narcissa Black, pure-blood supremacist. But was I?

I did not even know anymore.

* * *

**A/N: **Well, what do you guys think? I know it was a little short, but there are longer chapters to come. Now that I've sat down and write on a piece of paper exactly what will happen in the next few chapters, they'll come quicker.

Oh, and remember the best reviews are the ones that offer constructive criticism!

So, whom do you think Narcissa will end up? It seems Cissy's keen on both of them… ;) Review and let me know! Also, what has been happening these past few chapters? Lets' see if anyone can figure it out! Oh, and check out my poll on my page. I would like to hear your thoughts! :)

Oh and did anyone hear the tragedy of Newtown, Connecticut? God bless that brave teacher who saved the children. Our thoughts, tears and prayers are with you, Newtown.

Happy new years everyone. Have a fantastic 2013. This is my gift to you :)

-Nuna xx


	14. When Love Beckons You

**When Love Beckons You**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its' characters; they are all the property of J.K Rowling. **

**A/N: **Double update! I'll try to update next week, because my mini holiday is coming to an end. I promise that I won't go too long without updating though. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Hope you guys have a fantastic 2013.

Also, when do you guys think the story should end? We aren't nearing the end yet I simply have to cut loose ties before ending it. Maybe five more chapters? I've written the chapter that I intend for the last already… I would like to hear your thoughts on this and as always reviews/comments are very much appreciated. Thanks and please enjoy the chapter :)

* * *

_'When love beckons to you follow him,_

_Though his ways are hard and steep._

_And when his wings enfold you yield to him,_

_Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you._

_And when he speaks to you believe in him,_

_Though his voice may shatter your dreams_

_As the north wind lays waste the garden._

_For even as love crowns you_

_so shall he crucify you._

_Even as he is for your growth_

_So is he for your pruning.'_

_**Narcissa's point of view**_

'Why don't you children go off to the garden? It's looking particularly lovely tonight. ' Mother's smooth voice was full of warmth, warmth that I knew was false.

We were sitting in the parlour. Dinner had gone smoothly, ending with a soufflé, Chocolate, my guilty pleasure. Of course, I would admit this to no one. No one had to know that Narcissa Rosaline Black had a weakness.

Lucius had just stood up to escort me out when I finally spoke up 'Pardon, but I find the conversation rather riveting here.'

Conversation stopped as everyone stared at me wide-eyed. Bellatrix's eyes were twinkling.

One would have thought the reaction unjustified, odd and completely shocking. However, the weight of what I had just done hit me.

I had just rejected Lucius Abraxas Malfoy. And it felt _good_.

**oOo**

'And Droma, I said _no._ Mother told us to go into the garden, and I said no! Can you believe it?'

Droma laughed 'Yes, Cissy. I believed you the first time, and the second, and the third…'

'Oh alright, alright. Get off your high horse!' I snapped good naturedly before laughing heartily.

She laughed 'Well, regardless of how many times I hear it, I'm proud of you Cissy.'

I beamed '_Thank you._ How's the… baby?'

She noticed my hesitation 'Quite well actually. I'm six months along.'

My eyes widened 'Well… isn't that something? What's the gender?'

Droma laughed happily 'Oh, well we aren't going to find out the gender! We want it to be a surprise.'

I smiled shyly 'That sounds lovely. How is you husband?' I hope she realized how much that question took from me. '

Her eyes narrowed 'Very excited. He'll be a good father.' I noticed her tone was stiff, almost offended.

'Well, that's good. And what about you? Are you excited to be a Mother?'

'Motherhood… Motherhood is an adventure. From hormones to stretch marks, labor pains to diaper changes, motherhood is an adventure like none other. The rapid changes in your body, your lifestyle.. Well it all changes. However' She laughed 'Nine months is long enough time to prepare for all that! Mindfulness can help you meet the challenge and approach every experience with your new baby with open eyes and an open heart. And I never want to be resentful towards my baby!'

I laughed weakly 'Of course not.'

Motherhood… Merlin, I wonder what type of a Mother I would be? Would I be like Mother and Father, scarcely any love or affection? _No_, I vowed to myself, _no I would be a good Mother, a devoted Mother._

I would settle for no less. My child would know how loved it was.

I would make sure of that.

_**Unkown POV**_

Helooked at the girl in the photograph. Her long, light brown hair was so soft… As were her eyes.

She was beautiful, there was no doubt.

_Not beautiful for __**you**__ though._ He thought bitterly

He was in love with her. That much was known. But how far would his obsession stretch?

Even if he had to use others to lure her back to me, he did not mind. Afterall, she came to him. It would too easy to capture her, and taunt her beloved sister with threats of her demise. But no, he must wait.

He wanted her. And he always got what he wanted.

Eventually.

_**Narcissa's POV**_

Diagon Alley was unusually busy. I walked briskly, wanting to get this little task done for Mother.

She would usually order a house-elf to do so, but I jumped at the chance to leave the quiet Manor. The quiet, depressing Manor.

In my head lingered thoughts over my conversation with Droma. Would she be a good Mother?

Probably, I concluded. She was Droma, kind, kind Droma. She was fiercly protective, and would let no harm come to her baby.

Just like her and Bella let no harm come to me.

Flourish and Blotts was looming into view, and I entered. Maybe because I wanted to buy Droma a book on Motherhood, and maybe because I felt like it.

Browsing through the books was interesting, to say the least. Books of all sorts popped up.

I found myself in a dusty secluded corner. A narrow window looked over Diagon Alley, but was caked in filth. I wrinkled my pert nose. How atrocious.

Grabbing a handkerchief, I did the one thing I never thought I would do; clean. I scrubbed the narrow window, harder and harder still. I rubbed it ferociously, almost taking out my frustrations on the innocent window.

'Reckon you might want to calm down a bit. A simple cleaning charm would have done it.' A cheeky voice said behind me.

I turned slowly, and sharp green eyes pierced. The lady's red hair fell in waves, and it was lovely but horribly bright. A Weasely. The thought came to me, and I wrinkled my nose slightly.

'Perhaps…' I said slowly 'But I don't see how it's your concern.'

'Oh, it's not.' She waved a hand around and gave a little laugh.

The seconds ticked on, and I raised an eye-brow at the woman. She raised one right back and scowled a little. Good. People that were intimidated by me _did_ get a little old.

I stood and made my way over to her in the tight space 'Narcissa… Rosaline.' I said quickly. No need for her to know who I was _just_ yet.

'Lily Evans.' I looked at the diamond on her finger and raised an eye-brow 'Oh, I'm engaged.'

'Congratulations.' I said shortly.

'Thank you. Well I should probably be off, lunch with a friend.'

'Who, may I ask?'

She grinned cheekily 'Oh, just an annoying dog. Very persistent.'

I wrinkled my nose once more at the oddity of having lunch with a dog. Maybe she was joking… 'Well, enjoy your lunch.'

'I will.' She smiled and waved before walking off quickly.

_Well, _I thought, slumping against the now clean window, _that was quite the conversation._

* * *

Days passed since I met the exuberant Lily Evans.

_Please, please forgive me,_

_But I won't be home again._

_Maybe someday you'll look up,_

_And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:_

_"Isn't something missing?"_

_Even though I'm the sacrifice,_

_You won't try for me, not now._

_Though I'd die to know you love me,_

_I'm all alone._

_Isn't someone missing me?_

_You won't cry for my absence, I know_

_You forgot me long ago._

_Am I that unimportant...?_

_Am I so insignificant...?_

_Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't someone missing me?_

_I know what you do to yourself,_

_I breathe deep and cry out,_

_"Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't someone missing me?"_

_And if I bleed, I'll bleed,_

_Knowing you don't care._

_And if I sleep just to dream of you_

_I'll wake without you there,_

_Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't something..._

The park that I had once bumped into Lucius was where I was now. It had now become a safe haven.

I dragged in a deep breath from the muggle cigarettes that Droma had left lying around in her room after she left. I knew it was a bad habit, but one that relieved anxiety. Anyways, this was perhaps the second time I had indulged in them.

The heavy footsteps behind me should have frightened me but it did not. Instead, I dragged in another deep breath before releasing it, watching with fascination as the smoke slowly swirled in the air, before disappearing in the cold night.

'Smoking now, Cissa?' he asked, his voice rugged but so soft. 'It's an atrocious habit.' He took the box that was still open in my hand and lit one up. We continued smoking in silence.

'I have left over stress from the gathering at Malfoy Manor.' I said softly in explanation not elaborating. I could not tell him it was because of the meeting with Evans. Not yet.

He sighed softly in reply, before forcing a bitter laugh from his stiff lips, sounding like the Lucius he had been before. So much that it hurt, causing a closed wound to re-open 'You're a lady Narcissa. And more importantly, a Black. Shouldn't you appreciate these gatherings, perhaps even like them? My mother did.'

At the mention of his mother, I froze and unwanted memories of a meeting with Celia Antoinette flew back to me at the speed of light. I exhaled loudly, releasing the breath that I had held in.

'Perhaps they should,' I agreed softly 'but they do not, for I feel the fake smiles and emotional stress will kill me.'

'Perhaps.' He was sardonic.

I opened my mouth and said abruptly 'You're not the same. You're not Lucius anymore.'

He raised an eyebrow, trying and failing to seem nonchalant 'And how am I not Lucius?'

'Just because you look like Lucius, doesn't mean you are him.'

'You're starting to sound just as loony as Lovegood.'

I turned around and wiped away my tears before they could fall on my cold cheeks.

'Why didn't you tell me before?' My voice was light, seemingly unworried but when he turned to look at me, I didn't meet his eyes. He knew what I was talking about; I didn't need to say anymore.

'Your ignorance is my bliss.' I looked at him curiously but he didn't clarify.

'I see,' I paused a moment, inhaling deeply.

He spoke up suddenly 'I didn't tell you because…I like the way you look at me." With an even raspier voice and halted speech, he continued, 'There is never…disappointment in your eyes. But if you saw the things he makes me do,' His hand were fisted in his hair. 'I have been reduced to hexing and dealing with mudbloods and muggles.' he said quietly 'I thought that…if you knew, you would no longer respect me.'

'I hate him,' I hissed. The sudden declaration surprising even myself. The venom behind my pronouncement burned at the back of my throat, and my eyes stung with unshed tears. 'He is _nothing _in comparison to you.'

'Narcissa, you shouldn't say that.' The rebuke was half-hearted, and I knew he only said it to protect me.

'I don't want to talk about him anymore.' It was a childish answer, but Lucius responded by holding me even tighter.

Taking my chin between his fingers, his gray eyes stared deeply into mine, 'You need never worry about my faithfulness. Any other woman would be a punishment and degradation to the Malfoy name. Let alone a Wedley,' His nose wrinkled in disgust 'I can only tolerate the best, and you, Narcissa, are without peer.' His normally sedate drawl sounded even lazier. Still the delivery had no negative effect on me. And even though Lucius disguised his love in speeches about familial superiority, I did not mind. His hidden declaration made my heart soar.

'I love you too,' I murmured tiredly, settling my head back on his chest, the day's revelations and upheavals finally catching up to me. I looked at the black night, with only twinkling stars.

I was afraid for this moment to pass, because it felt like things would never feel so beautiful again.

* * *

Indeed, I was right. Things were never as beautiful as that night.

_He had not contacted me since that night. _

Tossing and turning in my bed, this was all that came to my mind. All that came to mind, and was continuously repeated.

I did not understand. Things usually appeared so clear to me, clear enough for my sharp mind to comprehend. I could not comprehend this.

Why would a man, a man who showed his love for me clearly, avoid me? How would a man even want to avoid me? Most longed to be in my company for but a moment. Time is precious, and I did not gift any of my own on others.

I threw my comforter back and sat up in bed. I couldn't sleep, that was obvious and now I was hungry.

_Late night snacking… I had never stopped so low._

I tiptoed down the grand staircase, making sure not to step on that last squeaky step.

I entered the kitchen and looked around slowly. Merlin help me, making a sandwich was harder than it looked. Unsurprisingly, I had never had to lift a finger in my life so perhaps it was me with the problem.

I did not know and frankly, I did not care. Doing this made me focus on something and if I did not think of my dream for a fraction of a second, I would be happy.

An owls' beak pecked against the window. I looked up and quickly let it in. It seemed we had been receiving more letters' now than we had in a lifetime.

The letters' message was simple. Only one sentence, only four words. However, the butterflies that inhabited my stomach were wild, as if he had come and proposed.

_Meet me at midnight._

I smiled nervously, feeling like a love-struck teenager. Things were finally starting to turn out right. However, I was not fooled. Nothing good ever lasts, and I would not take this for granted.

I would not take Lucius Malfoy for granted.

* * *

**A/N: **Well, let's guess who that annoying dog is! ;)

What did you guys think? I know the idea of Cissy smoking is odd, but this _is _fan fiction. What are your thoughts on Lucius' hidden declaration of love? I tried to do it in a way that's believable for Lucius. I don't reckon he's the type to gush about his feelings.

LOL, that would be funny.

Oh, and what about that unknown POV? It's pretty obvious to me, but guess who it is and let me know in a review or a PM! I'd like to hear your thoughts :D

If you guys have an ideas for the next chapter, let me know! I hope you guys liked this chapter, and any reviews/feedback are very, very much appreciated.

Oh, and I have a quote that I think you guys will appreciate ;)

_You might be into The Hunger Games now, but remember; once a Potterhead, always a Potterhead._

Well, see you guys soon! Have a great new year, my lovelies! 3

-Nuna xx :)


End file.
